Of weekend coffee share and thunderstorms

coffee mugs

If you were having coffee with me I would say “hey, it has been ages since, remember the last time.” I would invite you to sit on the verandah and watch the afternoon thunderstorm. The weatherman forecasted, cloudy with a chance of rain. I would tell you how, growing up I used to fear that if I was wearing red I would get struck by lightning.
Now I know better but try catching me wearing red during a really violent storm. Passion Rules Reason: Wizard’s Third Rule

If you were having coffee with me it would not be coffee we were having it would be tea, herbal tea.

tea milk and sugarThe tea leaves are in the container for the powdered milk and if you take sugar, there is brown sugar in the old coffee jar. I love brown sugar its flavour reminds me of playing in sugar cane fields as child. The powdered milk is in the bottle for salad cream, just dont confuse it with salt. The salt, is in the bottle for mayonnaise. I will confess, I have done that before, that was an interesting cookery accident.

What’s been happening with you I would ask. Yes I am interested in everything going on with you because nothing interesting has been happening with me, unless you count the stuff which happens only in my head.

If you were having coffee with me I would tell you how I have come to the realization that I am a social media junkie with extreme fear of missing out.
I have a digital addiction. I think I am a permanent guest in the Hotel California that is social media I can log out any time I want, but I can never ever leave.

I have a Facebook account (but that’s mainly to keep in touch with my family and friends)
I have a Twitter account (now that’s for fun and none of my facebook “friends” know my twitter handle or so I tell myself)
I have instagram and pinterest.
I have a goodreads account for my reading list and reviews. We can compare books read if you are interested, and sometime over coffee we can exchange reviews.
I have a twitter for giggles and drafts and sharing my blog.
I’d ask you to drink your tea, before it gets cold, and that you please have another slice of bread, as I am just getting to the best part.

If we were having coffee I would tell you that my blog, well that’s for Me ^_^
Selfishly me.
I write down the thoughts in my head because they look better when written, sound better read and to make space for new crazier thoughts.
And the blogging community is like no other. I used to use the notes tab on my Facebook as a blog or drafts folder of sorts and to my dismay most of the comments (if any) where along lines of… “This looks interesting but way too long will finish later…” or “dude you crazy”

Then I discovered WordPress I didn’t even realise I was blogging, (I know right) It was just a somewhere to leave my words and read other people’s and was surprised to discover they in turn (not all but most) would read mine back, and comment, (sometimes) what larks ^_^
The rain has started to pour in earnest. Isn’t it lucky I was lazy to do the laundry today I would ask you.

(hmmm if we were having coffee I would tell how I have just decided that in my next post I want to do a blogging journey post, and I hope you will stop by to see how it goes)

If we were having coffee I would tell you when the weatherman said an afternoon thunderstorm was expected I said to myself Ooooooh I didn’t know the sky was pregnant, I shall have coffee with a friend and watch the birth of a storm. I would tell you my new favorite word Petrichor which means the scent of the earth after the rain especially after a long dry spell.
I’d say let’s count the heartbeats between each lightning strike and thunder clap, then just watch the rain falling until it stopped.
It always stops after awhile, storms don’t last forever.

~B

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Of Sock Gap: A Sock Tale

The thoughts that keep me up some nights…. Musing.

A Shaggy Sock Tale

Picture this: you go out on a romantic date right, everything is beautiful the weather is lovely the sky so blue, you know tonight, will be the night, the best you ever had…..
so your place, her place or some other place, who cares.

Wine Glasses

You know this movie scene.
A wine bottle, pops.
Glasses clink.
Lingering contact.
Caresses.
It’s all flashes.
Lips parted.
No words.
You draw close to each other, as you would to the warmth of a fire.
A blur of motion.
A swirl of riotous color
Clothes are coming off, it’s crazy, it’s so on!!!
The screen fades to black to the sound of heavy breathing… *Marvin Gaye’s sexual healing playing in background*

Now pause right there…( ❚❚ )
There you are, all frisky, hot and bothered, you no longer really thinking except all you wanna do is do it….

I have your attention, yes?

My question is simple enough.
When the hell is the proper time to take off your socks????

Let’s call it a sock gap.
When do you take off your socks??

Seriously, yes, it’s an issue, at least for me…..
Up at night wondering.
Obviously you can’t take them off first, because shoes.
Shoes first. Makes sense.
I mean do you take them off, after you take off your shoes but before you remove your trousers, or is it after your trousers but at this point, the shirt was probably the first thing to come off, so after you take off your trousers you just naked except for your socks, and you wondering how the hell you ended in nothing but your socks but it’s too late to take them off and you just hope it’s kinky cute like that, hopefully they are a clean, have no holes and are a matching pair of socks……

sockdrawer
I have new socks on ^_^

~B

(*Trolls are real they live in the sock drawer and steal your socks but only the ones for your left foot*)

Photocredit: Wine Glasses Sock puppet

Of Staying Calm

Genre: mystery/crime 

He pressed the button and waited. A green light stopped flashing and a red one came on, besides that nothing else on the machine, showed that anything else was going on.
He took out his phone, swiped a pattern to unlock the screen, clicked on the browser icon, a notification  popped up Error Page Not Found. He tried the laptop next, and a similar error message flashed on the screen.
That is when he allowed himself a small smile of victory, his device worked. Yes, he had just successfully blocked every single user access to the internet. Basically his device acted as a server which intercepted all communications on the information superhighway and routed them to meaningless portals and gateways, effectively what ever page you tried to go to you would get a page not found error.
If he was an evil genius this is when he would have laughed, that evil genius laugh. He got up, paused to straighten his animal print vest, as he thought to himself what a time to be alive.
The day the internet stopped. He could picture the headlines.

“Dude can you restart the Wi-Fi” Simba told his younger brother Taona. “But you are closer bro”
“No way, we are in the same room, besides you are younger, and I am your elder you hafta always listen to your elders” Simba retorted.
“If I go I won’t help you with the chores”
“Fine” Simba sighed “we’ll both go”
They got to the lounge to find a Ndalega conference in place, their mum dad and little sister huddled around the Wi-Fi router like doctors around a patient undergoing open heart surgery.
“What’s up guys” Simba asked startling the trio who hadn’t heard them enter the room.
“It’s the Wi-Fi router, I think it’s dead, I reset it and it says active but we can’t access the internet.”
“Dad, did you try switching it off and on again”
“I might be old but I am still computer savvy, don’t roll your eyes at me. Gimme the phone let me call the customer care hotline.” He dialled the number and an automated response informed him that he was an important client, his call was important and would he please hold till a care customer care rep, came to his help, then proceeded to play a soothing jingle. Well it was supposed to be a soothing jingle but listening to it, for thirty straight minutes and the automated voice periodically reminding him his call was important please keep holding, made him feel like a brainwash candidate. He wanted to gouge out his eardrums to make it stop. He terminated the call after forty five minutes when the low battery warning chimed.
“That’s it I am going to their offices.
I really really need the internet working.” He must have heavily emphasized need because everyone in the room looked at him strange.
“Sure love, brilliant idea, I love a man who takes charge.”
“Mom” groaned all three siblings at the same time. He grabbed the router dashed to his car and sped off to the offices of the corporation who owned his internet connection. Driving rather recklessly, he narrowly missed a man wearing an animal print vest. Not my fault, in court I would say I thought you were a wild animal, in my defence, he thought to himself as he drove on without a look back or slowing.

Almost all over the world people were slowly looking up from their phones and their computers with a confused expression first to ask if anyone else was having trouble with their internet, then panic as realization hit that maybe something was wrong with the internet.
For some it was like the death of a close friend not even that, death of your twin self or your clone even. Something you felt in the fiber of your being.

Mr Ndalega glanced at the router on the passenger seat, to check it had not slid off, after he had braked the car suddenly, because traffic up ahead was practically not moving a jam of some sorts.
He adjusted the rearview mirror to check traffic behind him.
The word lurk just sprang unbidden to his mind.
He peered again into the mirror and spotted the object of his discomfort, the man in the animal print vest he had passed a few blocks earlier, had stumbled into view. The vibe he gave off could best be described as lurking. He lurked just like a beast stalking prey.
Traffic had ground to a standstill, nothing moved, he turned on the radio.
Breaking news wide spread chaos, riots, due to internet service disruption_” he changed channels same news bulletin on every channel. “A terrorist attack on the internet__” He switched through several channels.
…Remain calm, do not panic__
Calm, I can not stay calm!! I need internet.
A knock at the window startled him, it was the lurker in the animal print vest.
“Hey man hope you don’t mind me following you around, see the internet is not working without the updates from people I follow I feel, somehow, lost, I can follow someone else if you mind…. ” the man trailed off.
He was just about to tell him to get a life when he realised, he actually felt that it was calming, that someone wanted to follow him.
“As long as you keep a respectful distance away.”
“Oh I’ll be a like a fly on the wall you won’t even know I am here.”

He released the seatbelt, opened the door and got out of the car. That’s when he noticed why the cars up ahead where not moving, they had no drivers. People were just exiting their cars and walking, where they were going no-one knew, they were just following other people in perfect straight lines.
He would follow too, just to see what they got up to, he looked back and saw his single follower lurking somewhere behind.

~The End

My entry this week for the #Blogbattle theme Lurk

~B

Of Serving Humanity

image

Imagine aliens wanted to wipe out all of humanity for some diabolical reason, which only they understood, saying its clearly marked on their planetary invasion schedule they ask you why they must save all of mankind. What do you say, what do you say?

If they stood before me and asked me, plead my case for humanity, this is that I would say.

“Why must you save humanity? I’ll tell you why you must.
Save humanity because this tiny lil blue and green planet with carbon based lifeforms is a most idyllic rock hurtling around a sun, a yellow sun.
It is paradise on the Milky Way and the next such place is millions of light years away. A nice quiet neighborhood, it’s the perfect planet for you guys to come and live, watch breath-taking sunsets and plot on ruling the cosmos in its vast entirety or whatever else it is you do for fun.

But see the tricky bit they are such ingenious organisms, these humans, if you overtly attack them they will rally, they will roust. They make a formidable fighting machine that brings about regime change, collapses dynasties, ends tyranny even change destiny.
Humans can accomplish the impossible, simply with the sheer resolution of the masses. It’s in their history books, current affairs on their news, even their social media, which is like a virtual world and some of the things they accomplish with trending hashtags is impressive, if you look past the absurd reasons why some things trend. Thus you, you will gain nothing but annihilation or victory over a pile of rubble, let me tell you, you do not want this.

What you want is patience. The human race is a mortal race, their lifespan but a flicker, before your infinite ancientness, it grows even dimmer. If you but wait, mankind will do the dirty work for you, as they turn on each other, based on superficial prejudices derived from geographical location and imaginary boundaries, skin pigmentation, religious beliefs and even bank balances. You have a situation where a few Earthlings slowly accumulate all the resources the planet has to offer leaving nothing for rest, who will then either starve and die or violently take it back, many will die regardless. Billions of Earth’s currency is used in the research, development and manufacture of weapons, as everyone races to make a fortress of their interests. Apparently their governing structure believes to prepare for peace one must always be ready to war. Shoot first and question survivors later.
And during all this no-one is noticing how electromagnetic radiation from the smart phones, computers, internet is slowly dulling their senses robbing them of their will and intelligence becoming no more than organic extensions of their devices and ultimately easy to switch off or disconnect.

Yes, save humanity because pretty soon they will be all gone and the planet will keep hurtling along, its merry way, around the sun, it won’t miss them and you, you can claim an uninhabited land without a single casualty to your species.
Save them, if even just for laughs, it should be amusing to watch the antiques of mankind struggling with the meaning of existence, life the universe and everything else. All they do from the moment they are birthed is waiting to die, filling up the time in between with materialistic goodies they do not need, using resources they do not possess, all in the hopes of impressing and inspiring envy in strangers they do not even care to know about.
It’s a good thing your home planet has very high temperatures, very little vegetation, hardly ever has precipitation and you thrive in an environment high in atmospheric carbon content.
Save humanity and watch them poison their planet day by day until it becomes inhospitable to them but  just like home for you and you can move right in and make yourself at home.
Whose side am I on you wondering oh I am on man’s side and making a friendly wager that one day man will earn the right to be here and then they will be worthy opponent for you to duel with.
I know above all else you love a worthy adversary.
So you see its a win win situation and we get to live, for now.

~B
Inspired by a blog post by Cathleen.
Photo credit: Solar Views

Of Being Loyal As A dragon, Creative and Fireballs

I have been nominated for the The Dragon’s Loyalty Award by Krista Kemp which is an award for the loyal fan/commenters, whether the recipient is a fellow blogger or just someone who follows and comments regularly. Me thinks this means I am a stalker, but a loyal one yes I will protect you with flaming fireballs *insert dragon roar*  Thank you very much. I happen to really like dragons (they are like living-Fire-breathing flamethrowers even if they don’t exist in the real world in my head they do ^_^ ) So thank you.again Krista and ya’all go check out her blog she got her hands on typewriter at age eleven, I would love to say and never looked back, Cheers Krista.

dragon's loyalty

And then just as I was posting it up the award Simon nominated me for the Creative Blogger award. He says; “the things that go on in this guy’s mind 😀 “ …(alluding to the things that go on in my mind, I have no idea what this means but I hope its good things, so I”ll take it Thank you Simon) Considering he has managed to answer some of my questions and with a straight face, yeah I’d say the things that go on in his head too…..  😛

Creative Blogger

Both awards have the exact same set of rules so I had light bulb moment and thought hey two for one special.

So I am creative and loyal, whoop whoop but you can call me B ^_^

Five things about myself…..

Gosh what can I say

1 I am from Zimbabwe, Africa. A number of people have asked me where I blog from. What’s Zimbabwe like some of you are wondering, well please do read this post Of the place I call home

2. I really really really do not like snakes you could call me Lack Toes Intolerant

3. My totem is fire. True Story.
Legend has it that one of my ancestors discovered fire (well they discovered it from someone else who discovered it by a freak lightning accident but that’s not important)
4.I really wish totems were like a super power. You know if your totem is Lion you say Lion and you roar like a king become a formidable beast. How about Fish and you can swim like one or breathe underwater. An Owl and wisdom you have got.
And me, I would be able to say flame on and burn things with fireballs. That would be awesome ^_^

Flame On

Flame On

My totem could totally barbecue your spirit animal but I guess the only one who could stop me is someone whose totem were water.
When fire meets water. hmmm somebody say story idea.

5. I wouldn’t say I am arsonist as such but I love watching things burn. Leaving nothing but ashes.
I think it may have something to do with that my totem is fire.
But if I could be anything in the world I guess I’d be a flame

Flame

This flame and I are not so different:
it comes into being from nothingness;
it eats and grows,
It gets angry, destroys homes, consumes flesh.
The brighter it burns the faster it’s consumed.
Sated, it becomes calm, retreats into embers, smoldering.
It chases the shadows away and stands watch through the night.

My nominations because I smile everytime I see your name on my notifications

*Drum-roll please*
Colleen

Redrebel 

Khaya

Sarah

Barbara

Simon

Bobbibowwoman

Participation is absolutely optional that’s just me saying glad to know someone reads these my scribblings cheers and I guess you can pick whichever award you feel like accepting because if you are loyal and you hang around my here blog you are a creative, yes ? whoop whoop.

and should you accept the nomination THE RULES

*Thank the person who nominated you and post a link to their blog.
*Share 5 facts about yourself.
*Nominate some bloggers in return and notify them of their nomination.
*Keep the rules in your post so it makes it easy for everyone to know what to do.

It’s been a riot

~B

Of My Multiple Liebster Award Nominations

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Once upon a time I was nominated for a the Liebster Award, I in turn nominated a bunch of people for it. Good times. ^_^
Now here’s a really funny story,
I ended up getting nominated right back its really quite flattering so I have 5 nominations for this award…..I must be doing something right (do not burst my bubble and tell me it’s because I have a tiny network of bloggers do not even think it, what are we still talking about.)
I think there is a reason why there should be a tiny condition that you can’t nominate the person who nominated you. ^_^

Anyhoo…..
I lost the link to the fifth blogger, this is what happens when you change your blog name we can’t find you, maybe you do not want to be found Holla Holla if you read this ^_^
so I’ll just mention the four I could find.
The 5am Soliloquy
a blog where it’s always 5 in the morning. I am not much of a morning person I prefer my 5am at midnight, see, I am not an early bird, I am a night owl.
But check out this blog ^_^

Odenbk
an inspirational blog though he hasn’t been blogging much because he is admin & behind the scenes of  Afrobloggers an interesting initiative to unite and promote African bloggers. Hey how about an afroblogger-tag-a-blogger-something
I have noticed lots of bloggers this side of the planet tend not interact much, they read and leave, or share on twitter and It’s really hard to find them.

Are we there yet?
hmmm you haven’t posting lately for a while is this a start to share more….. write write write write read read read then repeat

Some String of words

This is a blog by a dear twitter friend of mine, I heartily encouraged her to write and she is really really good, please do give her a look see. I told her bloggers were cool froods who know where their towels at, now don’t make me out to be a liar OK thanks bye.

Thank you all for the nominations, now where can I redeem all these for cash. If I ever give you guys anything I know I will get it back but lets not test this theory
^_^

Ordinarily this is when I would answer questions but since most of these are questions I made up when I got this award I will refer you to my original post Of My Liebster Award 

And oh yes it official I now have over 200 followers thank ye all who follow me ✨✨✨✨✨ random stars of awesomeness.
I exempt myself from nominations and so forth.
If that will be all thank you very much. I think I would make an excellent lawyer but first I’d change my name to Justin Case, you know just in case…..
…………..Call me Justin Case

~B

Of The Waiting Room

Genre: mystery (I think)

image

He finally gave in, after ten continuous days of taking the cough mixture, the cough was persistent. It said so on the bottle, do not take for more than ten days without consulting your doctor. He did not have a particularly bad flu and he was sure it was not bird flu or that one that killed you just a few days later. He was still alive after all but the symptoms were really annoying, so off to the doctor he finally decided.

The doctor’s surgery was a recently  renovated house in a quiet part of the city. It would have been a cosy house with a beautiful garden complete with a birdbath and some garden gnomes. He had paused to admire the scenery before he knocked once and entered, a bell chimed.

The lady at the reception looked up and gestured for him to wait as she was serving someone. He looked around for a place to sit, to his dismay, every chair was taken. Then he spotted a stool in the corner it would have to do.

Soon as he sat down, the receptionist was motioning him over. Walking back he struggled not to look tortured. He really was not a patient man.
An impatient patient. The irony.

“Good day, Sir, Do you have an appointment?” she asked.
“No, but I would really like to see the doctor, today”
“Well it’s a bit packed today, but if you are willing to wait I will see if I can squeeze you in… Are you alright with that?
He looked back into the waiting room, he scratched his head as if in deep thought, what he really was thinking was should I tell her my dad has a pile of money and could buy this two bit surgery, time is money, and it waited for no-one.
“I can wait” he said out loud instead.
“I’ll need your details so I can create a patient file for you. Name”
“They call me XMan”
“Excuse me Mr X but I need your government name and residential address”
He sighed, and ran a hand through his locks “Xinyori Mari, address__”
“Hold on how do you spell that”
He wanted to say you spell it “T H A T” but he instead spelt his name, and gave her his residential address.
As she was filling out the forms he had a good look at her, she must have sensed the scrutiny because she suddenly looked at him. 
“Is everything OK?”
“Can’t breath” and in his head added you take my breath away, then said “Can I have a glass of water.”

“There is a water dispenser in the waiting room and tumblers are just beside it,  please serve yourself. Just fill this in and you can go sit. I will call you when the doctor can see you.”

“Thank you.” he said walking back to the stool he had been sitting on.
Someone else was sitting on it.
This is like a game of musical chairs he thought, you stand up and someone takes your seat.
He eyed his fellow patients some were really ill, particularly the old lady whose chair was beside the coffee table he was considering to sit on. What if I catch what she has he shuddered.
Casually he walked up to her tried not to stare or breathe, he held his breath as he dragged the coffee table to what he judged a safe distance away from any of the other patients. A trail of magazines that had fallen from the table marked his path of retreat. Retreat that’s what he had done, retreat to the cold comfort of an unforgiving corner

Before he sat he picked up some of  the magazines avoiding the ones that had somewhat dubious stains. He tried not to even speculate on what the stains could have been.

After browsing through a couple, he realized they were all old editions, their pages would have been yellow with age had it not been for the old fancy glossy finish and the sample perfumes on the fashion pages saved them from that musky smell of old paper. The Scent of an Unforgettable Woman, read the caption on one of the pages.

The were crossword puzzles in some of the magazines, but they were all completed, badly.

Five down, the sea of tranquility calls this home, someone had scribbled MARS.
How he wished he had a pen, a red one, for corrections. He imagined pricking his finger and correcting the puzzle in his own blood. Blood was red__

His phone rang, he had forgotten to switch it off or put it on silent. There was a sign clearly prohibiting phones, everyone was looking at him and a security guard by the door was already heading his way.
He glanced at the phone screen, it was one of the First Street Savings bank numbers, probably his father calling to ”talk” about his stunt at the bank, he switched the phone off, daddy dearest could wait.

“Sorry” he signaled to the guard showing him that the phone was now off.

Five down was MOON not MARS, which was a red planet; Five across. Someone had written MERCury, of course it would not fit, he sighed.

A pen, his kingdom for a pen.
One of the patients had a hacking coughing fit and tucked behind his ear was a pen. Nope, he was most certainly not going to ask for it especially since he had seen him biting it earlier.

The heat in reception was stifling, a noisy overhead fan spread hot air around, the Met department had said something about a heatwave. He got up, walked to the water dispenser, selecting the cleanest tumbler he could find, then rinsed it, just to be sure. He took a sip, brackish and poured the rest into a large leafy pot plant just beside. The plant was artificial, great. Just great.
“I am in hell” he thought.
Hell is a waiting room.

~~The End
My entry #Blogbattle  entry themed Mars.
It is a continuation (of sorts) Of Dreadful Intentions.
~B

PS Colleen this is for you.

Of Lacking Toes Intolerance

I almost died the other day.
A huge snake tried to swallow me whole, I was minding my own business at the back of the yard when it jus popped out of the blue right in front of me, like the slithering serpent it is, and it was trying to have me as an after breakfast snack I presume, its fangs were barred like a rabid dog flicking its forked tongue about provocatively, it was as long as from here to where I am, and its teeth were yay big, I think it was just like the anaconda I saw in that movie I fell asleep watching the other day,  I don’t know what color it was because I didn’t really see it, as such…… 🙈
….All I heard was a rustling sound and I knew…
No other creature makes a rustling sound like that, I tried to kill it by screaming in a particular frequency that will shutter its skull and burst its brain.
I think I sounded more like someone taking an ice cold shower on a really cold day at 4 in the morning.
I am sure it did not work.
Because today I woke up to find a rat on my doorstep. A rat that looks like it got swallowed then spat out, by a snake.
At first I decided I am never going outside again but then when the boogeyman comes for you, you do not put a blanket over your head and pretend the monster does not exist. Oh no. You put the blanket on the monster’s head and it thinks it does not exist.
Then you slay it.
You see facing your fears like any life challenge is just like a bullfight. You grab the bull by the horns, wrestle it to the ground and when it’s down you stab it.
Walking away in slow motion is an option.
Anyway so now, I am lookin for a stick to hit the snake with across the spine,
a rock to bash its head in,
a machete to chop its head off,
then place it in an old rubber tyre,
pour petrol on it and set it on fire because that’s how you kill a snake dead!!
Anyhoo may I please have some match sticks or a lighter or just bring me electricity or fuel for the generator (this is what happens in my overactive mind when I sit in the dark for too long, it’s been almost 38 hours without electricity) the movies playing in my imagination are starting to freak me out!!

Snakes are scary it’s OK to be scared of them.
I think it’s something to do with that they have no legs, you could call me LackToes intolerant.
I look at it slither sinisterly along the ground in the serpentine manner only a serpent can and I think “oh, look at that lovely piece death, where were you when every other creature was standing in line to get their limbs?
(fish don’t count since they live in water)
The Millepede said: can I have 1,000s and 1,000s
The Spider: 8 is fine
The Ant said: 6 is cool with me.         Man: I will take two please

and the Snake was just slithering along hissing and all and said Nuh dont need any.
And that right there is my problem with snakes.
I know exactly the type of snakes I do not like:
>big snakes
>little snakes
>sticks which look like snakes
>things that rustle like snakes

I know not all of them are poisonous and they are probably more scared of me than I am of them.
But there is that one; the possibility is … possible. The deadly viper that with all likely likelihood, indeed will bite you and with a certain certainty you die.

So I now no doubt reach the propitious, inevitable conclusion.

All perfectly reasonable, possible, probable and inevitable.
All Snakes Must Die or stay away from me.

Memoirs of a Lack Toes intolerant man.

~B

PS no snakes were harmed in the making of this post.

Of a tale of scars

Genre: inspiration

The scars I have all have a story to tell, mostly about falling.

I have scar on my knee from the time I fell out of a wheelbarrow. My brother was pushing and I was perched on top of a sack of maize. We were going to the miller’s to get the maize ground into mealie meal.
The front wheel hit a large rock and momentum did the rest. I went flying out like a textbook example of Newton’s first law of motion, a body in motion meets an immovable object. My brother laughed. I cried.

first law of motion

Another scar, on my knee again, is from when I fell off a tricycle. How does one fall of a tricycle you might be wondering. Well, I was cycling down a sheer slope in an attempt to defy gravity. Gravity, that’s that Newton fellow again. One simply cannot defy the laws of physics, otherwise I would have been unstoppable well that and The Law (no-one wants to go to jail) Suffice it to say I tumbled all the way down like Jack and the tricycle tumbling after just like Jill.

tricycle

And now, on the very same knee, looks like another scar is in the making.
I was out jogging and I was running really really fast, the world around only a blur. I run to leave the world behind you see, that and also; fitness and health goals. The wind whipping past, the path before me, then I tripped. I am sure I rolled over a couple of times and if the were any witnesses they got quite a scare.

I was running the same route I tried to run earlier during the year and could not complete without stopping, but now it’s a walk run in the park. I have just realised my training routine has me all prepared to chase someone (read criminal) for about 5km while holding 2.5kg dumbbells and then, when I catch them proceed to punch them repeatedly in the head, with the two dumbbells for two minutes non-stop, rest for thirty seconds, punch for another two minutes rest for thirty seconds then punch for a final two minutes.
I am a beast, a tiny beast but a beast all the same. I am proud to say that my self-defense skills have somewhat vastly improved.
So, fair warning to any criminal types who want to catch me and cut my hair, without the weights I can run(away) faster, further for longer.

the runner

I scrapped my knee rather deeply when I fell and it seemed like a good idea to put some band-aid. You know when they say its non-stick on the box, they lied this thing comes off with skin, when you try to take it off, there will be pain. If sometime during the past week you saw someone running limping away madly screaming “No! Do not take my leg off!” that was probably me, totally overreacting. Has anyone invented bandages made from stem-cells, which graft into your own skin heals, fast-tracking the healing process and most importantly you don’t have to take them off as they become part of you, yet?

Will a little falling cause me to stop running, or stop trying to defy unstoppable forces. No, I will just dust myself and start all over again.
I have a barely formed scar on my knee and the world is a blur before me as I run.
I run and these are my scars.
I have other scars, wounds time never completely healed, but those are stories for another day.

My blog entry for this week’s #blogbattle themed scar
This was already work in progress for a blog post and happened to coincide with the theme. A sign from the universe to pop a non-fiction. If I ever write my memoirs ^_^

Of trenches internet and the girl next door

Dear Telecommunications Company

Imagine waking up to find the front of your yard all dug up.. (again) looking like an archeological dig site.

what bones shall we find here

what bones shall we find here?

And not so much as a warning, a by your leave; silence, nothing, just strangers in work suits digging.
You say Hello.
They say hello, make small talk about the heatwave and ask for some water.

You ask the men at work what they are doing and find out they have been contracted by some telecommunications company to dig trenches to lay cables.

You ask  “didn’t you guys do this again just earlier this year or were you the ones from late last year. Because this is the 3rd or fourth time people been digging up these trenches.

They say “oh no that wasn’t us, that was someone else contracted by a different company.

Oh?

So if I formed my own corporation, I would also have to dig up the whole countryside to lay down these cables for super fast internet connection and all that.

Can’t you guys all get along like agree to all pitch in to some single contractor and then just dig the once and for all. Then leave some sort of service pipes so that in the future, for new connections you won’t need to dig up again. Or when evolution of internet connection yields newer faster tech and you need to upgrade it will be easier too.

All this digging can’t be good for the environment, especially now at a time we are busy praying for rain, a deluge of rain at that, so that Kariba dam levels rise up and we can have normal electricity generation, from the hydroelectric power plant. (That is why we are having loadshedding I am told)

Speaking of electricity won’t all this fibre what what, increase the demand on our already strained power grid or you have a secret you are yet to share with us.
Personally I won’t have much access to this wonderfully fast internet (that the packages are usually ridiculously priced being one of the reasons) having electricity for only 6 hours a day between 2300hrs and 0500hrs.

If I do not use the internet on my phone I can go three whole days on a single charge cycle.
Who knew.
Alternative power solutions, Maybe wind or solar powered network towers. How about pocket sized solar Wi-Fi routers (my phone lasts longer on Wi-Fi than on mobile data connection)

alternative power

Alternative power sources

You say that all these cables you lay are so that everyone gets connected that’s a good plan.
Wireless you say but it’s only later you tell me I have buy this expensive hardware (antennas & routers)

And then I wake up to see headlines in the newspapers about companies retrenching which means to my limited street economics some of you are rolling out campaigns you can’t afford to consumers who can’t afford it, this can’t possibly end well, cheap reasonably capped internet sounds like a fair compromise.
I do not want just social media bundles (turning me into a permanent resident in the Hotel California, that is social media, you log out, but never ever leave) I want google, I want GPS, I want to know how fast I run when I jog, I want it all, if you
make my dollar stretch, I will happily give you my next dollar, even if it’s way later on, that is better than me not giving it to you at all. Financial advice from a street bred entrepreneur (read vendor)
But I am no economist I am simply a guy complaining about his dead lawn.

On the upside this time round the guys did not kill the paving on the driveway, (too much) they used some sort of drill, to bore beneath it.
I can’t say the same for the lawn, it will grow back I suppose but I keep wondering isn’t there a better way, you could have at least, apologised gave me free internet for the inconvenience (ok I admit the last bit was fishing)
You killed the shrub just by the corner, I used to wait in its leafy shade for the girl next door.

The internet should be like the ground beneath your feet, everywhere you step….. It’s there.
But hey you to make an omelette you have to break a few eggs…..dig holes, kill lawn, and pay, someone always pays.

Till it rains

~B