Of coffee over power walks and plastic money

 

Africa

If you were having coffee with me…… we would first go on power walk..because a healthy body= healthy mind, yes I am #TeamFitness. Exercise is good for the mind, you could at least try thinking about it Ha! see what I did there.

If you are groaning about going on a power walk; aren’t you glad today I was not going jogging and then we would have to run until our hearts start pumping battery acid, then we run some more…. A great way to beat the cold since the sun is not being shy about refusing to be warm you see.

If you are having coffee with me we would be having this herbal concoction, Zumbani tea. I was recently introduced to it, the taste is interesting enough that I am sure it’s got to be good for something, I don’t know what though; a friend of mine says its best had without sugar…. Alas I have weakness for sweetness….

How is your weekend going?

So waking up to the news about Brexit, I guess that’s democracy for you the right to make good or spectacularly bad decisions. Something about casting votes makes people stop thinking till just after they are done, then suddenly it dawns that perhaps that was not the most informed decision…

I remember once upon a time we had a referendum to vote for a new constitution, the opposition party spearheaded the Vote No Campaign, saying it was some sort of ploy by the ruling party to stay in power and people voted without even having read the proposed amendments to the constitution, and they voted NO hip hip hurray; if those had been elections, the opposition party would have surely won….. Later, much later did people realise that had they voted yes life today would have been; oh so much different I don’t know about it being better (but those constitution amendments we the best things that could have happened to the country) and suddenly how people wished they had a chance to vote again they would say yes, but that ship sailed.

I guess it’s some sort of independence for the UK and  we celebrate our independence from the UK being a former British colony and all. Countries do love their sovereignty.

If you were having coffee with me (read that as herbal concoction) I would show you my array of bank cards I have enough to build a tiny tower of debit cards,

tower of cards

and at any given time only one probably has a working bank balance, it’s because the country is experiencing a seriously crippling cash crisis situation, and in comes plastic money. The trick is to pick a bank (not likely to collapse anytime soon) with the lowest charges or the most number of point of sale terminals where you can swipe for your purchases (maybe get a cashback option if you are lucky) Some banks have better working relationships with retailers than others, there is nothing as annoying as standing in queue to buy your groceries only to find that they do not accept your  particular bank card.

IF you were having coffee with me I would tell you how I have accounts with several banks because this one bank has a special where on Fridays transactions on the debit card are free whoop whoop another has discounted charges when I use it at particular outlets and then this other one gives me loyalty points I have no idea what the loyalty points get you but hey it gotta be better than nothing right? I hunt for specials.

Why is there a cash crisis? Excellent question: like all excellent questions there is never a satisfactory answer for such, we have a cash crisis because banks do not have cash for withdrawals and they (banks) have no cash because businesses are not depositing money into banks and the business operators are not depositing money because  business is (s)low, business is (s)low because people have no money and people have no money because it is in the banks and they can’t get it out….wait what? Makes your head spin doesn’t it…

Plastic money it is then, on the upside the Reserve Bank in its great benevolence has mandated all banks to reduce their transactional charges on use of plastic money… yey!

I have a dream one that one day one just opens a bank account simply because they like the corporate colours and not because you have to make decisions about which bank has the minimum account handling charges and greater chances of not running out of cash (or worse suddenly closing taking your money with it) and is an interest on your money too much to ask for….

If you were having coffee with me I would ask you how your week has been, what’s good, what’s really good, what’s really really good?

If you were having coffee with me I would share with you this photo of a sculpture I saw in the street

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~B

PS they say wild animals roam the streets of Africa, well we call it art

This Is Africa #TIA

 

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Of Coffee With Angels

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If you were having coffee with me we would be trying out this herbal infusion, it kinda looks like weeds but smells like a combination of thyme with a hint of mint. It’s called Zumbani Tea from the Fever Tea Tree (Lippia javanica if you want to be all scientific about it, so you know I didn’t make it up) Do grab a cup, herbal tea is served in the delightful coffee mug labelled orange.

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If we were having coffee I would tell you that my phone is broken that is why I haven’t been replying your messages. The way my phone is behaving you would think its possessed, it swipes the unlock pattern and uninstalls applications, deletes stuff then opens messages and sends texts to my contacts all by itself, it even makes calls too, so now I have to keep it without credit to prevent accidental calls, and when I try to type up something it totally ignores me and proceeds to write what it feels like, its got a mind of its own or its possessed. I haven’t decided if I should take it to an exorcist or repair man. Before you ask, yes I tried switching it off and switching it on again, I even took out the battery looked heavenward and prayed to the phone Gods. Being The Fixer that I am I even took it apart and tried to see if I could understand the finer workings of the circuitry of a phone. I searched for YouTube tutorials and ended up wasting two hours of my life watching videos of cute lil kittens. I need a new phone and its not even my birthday and Christmas is still six months away.

If you were having coffee with me I would tell you how, as I was walking minding my own business, thinking ‘normal’ thoughts, well normal enough for me anyway. This random guy walked up to me and said “Happy Father’s day” and then he walked away. This got me quite stumped I tell you, since I have no kids of my own, (as far as I know) and this gentleman was older than too. So the only way he could be my son is if in the future I manage to build a time travel machine, which I read about, in my diary, which I wrote. My time travelling son wished me happy father’s day and walked away before I could say “Thanks son but tell me whom your mom is, is it? is it……?”  I barely managed to sneak in a nod.

Is there internet in heaven? So I can wish Happy Father’s day to my dad, any man can be a father, but to be a dad…takes a special kind of man. Can he read my blog I wonder? Does he smile and point out to his angel buddies “That is my son.” I would like to think he does.

If you were having coffee with me we would be binge watching super heroes movies Batman Vs Superman: Dawn of Justice, Captain America: Civil War, X-men: Apocalypse and Dead Pool. If you had a super power what would you wish for, I would wish that I could use my totem like say Flame On and start throwing fireballs, or go super nova, just like the sun….  that is why I am hot.

So… Batman vs Superman if you cancel out the kryptonite, Superman would totally whoop Batman’s pointy lil ears. But Batman, Batman has heart and that’s why sometimes when the moon (like tonite) is full,  I dress up as batman, and go out to howl at the moon….. Think about it have you ever seen me and Batman in the same room?

B is For Batman.

Not all heroes wear capes, some simply hold the door and others well they break down doors awoooah.

Thanks for visiting;  Happy father’s day and have an awesome week

~B

PS if I ever build a bomb, all the wires would be the same colour none of this blue wire, red wire, green wire.

PPS hope you enjoyed the Zumbani tea

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Of The Guide To Fixing Things

 

I am a fixer.

I am a fixer not exactly in the way Shonda Rhimes’s creation Olivia Pope from the series Scandal is The Fixer.

ABC's "Revenge" - Season Three

Gladiator in a hat

I fix things, broken things *read as appliances, broken people are something else all together* When something stops working, before I call a specially trained technician, I try to see if I cannot fix it all by myself.

The way I figure it out is that you can’t really kill something that is already dead…….. and when I see the warning tag on appliances that says:

noparts

Challenge accepted

I take that as a personal challenge… BRING IT ON! Never dare me to a challenge, I accept.

But I am not reckless in my pursuit for fixing things; I adhere to a strict code of D.I.Y rules:

RULE 1 – If it ain’t broken Do Not fix it; this is very important, this is how you kill things, going on and messing around with a perfectly good working thing. (with people so as with appliances)

RULE 2 – A non-working appliance cannot  get any “deader”… I mean it was dead before I killed it, right?

RULE 3 – Before you get carried away with screwdrivers and such, try switching it OFF (praying a little) and then switching it ON again, it just might start working, like magic or a miracle. Imagine how you would feel when that’s all the repairman does and then bills you, or even worse they pretend to have done extensive work .

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off & On

RULE 4 – when the above fails now you can be screwdriver happy and disassemble. You open it up, check for broken or unsecured connections even burnt bits, or anything weird, like if something that should be moving isn’t moving oil it, if something that should not be moving is moving super glue it, dirty terminals clean them.

RULE 5 -put everything back together, as much as possible the way it was before, do not be too worried about leftover screws; those guys use way too much anyway. Now, cross your fingers and try switching it on, mind that nothing explodes and be ready to switch it off if it acts up…. If it works congratulations we don’t really know what you did but it worked you are a fixer (thats how they do it too do not be fooled)… if it doesn’t work now you can call in the professionals and when they do fix it peer over their shoulders see everything they do see where you went wrong, or what you missed so that if this happens again you can now do it by yourself #LifeHack

RULE 6  Do try not to get yourself electrocuted, it’s quite shocking really.

And next I have a few open letters I want to share with the manufacturers of appliances:

Dear People

who manufacture appliances with impossibly weird-shaped screws how am I supposed to unscrew and fix them?

~P.S. I don’t like you

 

Seriously  what’s up with that

Dear people

Who make appliances held together with nothing but cleverly concealed clips which you can’t open without breaking I don’t like you either

and lastly

Dear Manufacturers why do you not include actually useful information in the instructions manual of appliances, like I don’t know a detailed schematic diagram showing screws, circuitry and everything? 

~B

Disclaimer: I am not a trained technician, and should you follow anything you read here and blow things up please do not cite my blog as your source and I think you might void your warranty if you attempt this at home or at work, try it at your neighbour’s house instead. You are welcome

PS  The thingie inside a microwave oven called a magnetron is horribly complicated….

PPS meanwhile in other news I need a new microwave oven……….

Photocredit Olivia Pope: Huffington Post

Of Coffee and The Greatest

tea

If you were having coffee with me, we would be having herbal tea with a hint of ginger, a pinch of cinnamon and a dash of honey. Never tried this? then you should!

I was feeling a bit under the weather and this was recommended as a home remedy to alleviate the symptoms of the common cold, and it tastes like sunshine.

If you were having coffee with me I would tell you how I woke up to the news that Muhammad Ali had passed away, he was The Greatest. I had a mini rant at someone who was saying gone too soon, I mean at 74 he was no spring chicken and he with his life he had been there and done that, so instead of all the sadness we must celebrate a life not less than ordinary.

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The Greatest

A few of my favourite Muhammad Ali quotes:

‘I done wrestled with an alligator, I done tussled with a whale, handcuffed lightning, thrown thunder in jail; only last week I murdered a rock, injured a stone, hospitalized a brick. I’m so mean I make medicine sick.’

‘Impossible is just a big word thrown around by small men who find it easier to live in the world they’ve been given than to explore the power they have to change it. Impossible is not a fact. It’s an opinion. Impossible is not a declaration. It’s a dare. Impossible is potential. Impossible is temporary. Impossible is nothing.’ 

“Don’t count the days; make the days count.”

“It isn’t the mountains ahead to climb that wear you out; it’s the pebble in your shoe.”

He proclaimed himself The Greatest like a self fulfilling prophecy

I am the greatest, I said that even before I knew I was.

I’m not the greatest, I’m the double greatest

It’s hard to be humble when you’re as great as I am.

“Braggin’ is when a person says something and can’t do it. I do what I say.”

and lastly:

Live everyday as if it were your last because someday you’re going to be right

If you were having coffee with me I would tell you how heartbroken I am that one of my long time celebrity crashes, Toni Braxton, is dating Birdman.

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Toni Braxton

 

birdman

Birdman

I mean how? I cant even right now, what do they even talk about. Ok, maybe the colour green does not look so good on me.

birdman1Please have a  biscuit we are dipping them into the peanut butter and then enjoying them peanut butter coated. It’s a curious recipe I picked up from boarding school and it makes me feel good, I could do with a pick me up I feel a little awful right now the cold, the heartbreak and all.

If you were having coffee with me, I would tell you what started as a sore throat the other day has turned into full blown cold. I even lost my voice for a little while and if you had been around earlier I would have asked you to help me find it. Funny thing about losing your voice, you can only speak in a whisper, and isn’t it weird how when you whisper to someone, They whisper back. There is something about whispering that makes the other person lean in and draw closer to you like they do the warmth of a fire, as if you are conspirators in the telling of a juicy secret.

I found it eventually, my voice; although I sound a little raspy like a gangster called Whispers from the movie Hoodlum.

If you were having coffee with me I would say that the herbal tea is working I feel so much better already, you should try it or maybe it could have been the couple of shots of whiskey I had, you know for medicinal purposes; I even added a generous dollop into the tea, you are not judging me right, this is my no judgement zone.

If you were having coffee with me I would tell you I posted this entry late because had no electricity the whole day something about the power utility doing maintenance work, at least I hope that’s what it was  and they were not low key sneaking in a load-shedding, I wouldn’t put it past them considering I have seen them do “annual” routine maintenance work at the hydroelectric power plant twice a month. On the upside we hardly have any power cuts due to load-shedding, but word on the street is that its because some major industries shut down and thus reducing demand on the national electricity grid, so there is no reason to be celebrating, what dark times we live in.

If you were having coffee with me I would say here is to an awesome week and thank you for the lovely visit, do drop by again

~B

Photocredits

Muhammad Ali BBC

Toni Braxton NYmag

Birdman TraceTV

Toni and Birdman That Life

Of The Get To Know Me Tag

I stumbled on this tag on Harriet’s Blog Lilacs and Stuff  and she was like give at go, and I thought why not so here we are. Thanks Harriet ♥

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Vital Stats

Name: Beaton

Nicknames: The Beat, Beast, B, Bhidza, Ras Brown, Dread,

Place of Birth: Masvingo, Zimbabwe

Firsts

Best Friend: Taona (this was forever ago I really need to get in touch)

Award: Best Student Award for coming first in class, consecutively throughout the year (this was Primary School and I was a transfer student from, fun times, being the new kid who aced everything)

Sport: tennis (won  a trophy in a Bata Tennis Foundation Tournament)

Real Holiday: A trip to the warm heart of Africa, Malawi, passing through Mozambique, and a short left to Zambia. The highlight of the trip was a going to Lake Malawi, which is incidentally the closest thing to a beach I have been to

Concert: Diamond Musica Rhumba Concert, when the original Congolese group performed in Masvingo; Zimbabwe for the first time. I danced so crazy I was invited on stage, some people thought I was part of the dance ensemble, in my defence it was the first time I tried drinking whiskey neat from the bottle, Mr  Glasses, for what (it seemed like a good idea at the time) and my first real hangover the morning after and swore never to drink again… ever ….. *laughs*

Favorites

Films: The Matrix, Fight Club, Sound of Music, Limitless, Rango, Home, Meet The Croods

TV Shows: How To Get Away With Murder, Scandal, Blacklist, Boston Legal, Orphan Black, Leverage, Game of Thrones, Penny dreadful, Salem, Supernatural

Color: Black and Silver (shades of grey)

Songs: Kiss From a Rose ~ Seal, Linkin Park ~ Numb, Rockstar ~ Nickleback and those old school…”I want to go back to a time when the music touched you, your body, your mind your heart. …..I want to go back to a time when music made ya feel like falling in love

Restaurant: Hidden Garden Cafe

Books:  I read Terry Pratchett, Dean Koontz, Stephen King, Sidney Sheldon, John Grisham, JRR Tolkien, A Song of Fire and Ice  and ooh Harry Potter yep am a Pothead!

Currently

Feeling: ill * Sick face emoji*  got a cold and sore throat

Single or Taken: Complicated

Eating: Having a cup of ginger herbal tea, and an avocado sandwich

Wearing: Casual Friday

Watching: Captain America: Civil War

Future

Want Children: yep

Want to Get Married: forever, for ever ever, death till do us  part, I think so.

Careers in Mind:  What Is called when you get paid to play video games, read books, watch movies and write about it. How about just a  dreamer I could do that.

Where You Want To Live: instead of a mansion in one place, I want have a tiny little place in every city in the world

Do You Believe In

God: Yes

Miracles: Yes

Love At First Sight: hmmmm I guess I do

Ghosts: I would have to say, yes, I haven’t seen one but I heard one. Blogged about it here

Heaven: Yes

Hell: if there is a heaven then yep

Kissing On The First Date: depends….. hmmmmm if its love at first sight, soul mate, stars aligning,two hearts crashing into each other…. then absolutely …what I have soul of a poet …. anyhoo if the chemistry is right.

Yourself: Absolutely I am biggest cheerleader *\0/* shakes pom poms,

Taking a leaf from Lilacs and Stuff Blog, I hereby nominate anyone who reads this and feels moved to do a similar tag, do it and tag me back would love to read about you…

thanks for popping by

~B