Of Coffee with Rats and cyclones

If you were having coffee with me I would greet you with a smile and ask you how you have been. Do you prefer tea or coffee, if tea; herbal or regular, if coffee; decaf or regular. Random question about the tea, would you rather have tea bags or tea leaves, and if tea bags tagless tea bags or ..tagged I guess with that string you dangle outside your cup and use it to pull out the bag. Maybe you are one of those who leaves the tea bag in the tea cup for that extra strength cuppa, do tell.
How have you been doing? I hope you have been great, remember when I told you that I had an unexpected guest, in the ceiling;(read my previous post) well it turns out I did not need to get an exorcist, there really were rat(s) in the ceiling, nothing sinister. I have had an interesting week trying to rid my house of the pesky rodents, I almost wished I had a pipe like the one the Pied Piper of Hamelin had and lure them away with a tasteful tune. Believe it or not I used to be in an Acapella musical group, I was the guy beatboxing the bass I didn’t sing just harmonised the melody.
If you were having coffee with me, I would tell you never to use that mouse trap that looks like a book covered with glue…. The mouse will escape from it and give you a nasty fright in the process, I named the one that got away Speedy Gonzales, you should have seen it execute perfect back flips and streak away fast as you please leaving me with nothing but a bemused expression. That’s when I decided to use a rat killing poison and bye bye Speedy Gonzales.
If you were having coffee with me I would ask you if you know whats worse than having a rat problem in your house? Its having a dead rat in the house, and you not knowing where it is; you know it’s dead because you can smell it, nothing living smells like that. You walk around the houe sniffing and sniffing hoping a rodent didn’t crawl and die somewhere inaccessible like in between walls and then all you can do is wait for the putrification process to end…. Fortunately I did find the dead rats, two of them, and buried them in an unmarked shallow grave in the garden, I did not say a few words only tipped the newspaper I had wrapped them into the hole and started shovelling the soil back…. Goodbye to the thing that lived in my ceiling and gave me countless near heart attacks…
If you were having coffee with me I would tell you about cyclone Dineo which caused destruction of property and loss of life. Being a landlocked country it is very rare for cyclones to ever reach us, in 1983 there was Cyclone Domoina in 2000 there was Cyclone Eline, seems it happens every 17 years….. Dineo is a common South African female name meaning Gift and some people were wondering who come up with names of cyclones, and also joke about it as they are wont to do to lighten otherwise stressful situations by laughing at them… There were jokes about how whoever broke Dineo’s heart or forgot her valentine’s present must make amends before she lands, with all the fury of a woman scorned.
Storms are named because it makes them easier to remember and avoid confusion in relaying warnings and other information compared to using only technical meteorological terms. The World Meteorological Organisation has alphabetic lists of Cyclone Names that are used each season, and if you must know the list is not made up of exclusively female names…..
If you were having coffee with me I would tell you that our president turns 93 on 21 February and my birthday is day after, so I wouldn’t mind if the president’s birthday was declared a public holiday. If life were a cricket match then I guess he would be 93 and not out, and is the ruling party’s candidate for the 2018 presidential elections; 37 years as president and not out….. He says he has been at it longer than anyone else and wont groom a successor because there isn’t an acceptable candidate at present ….
If you were having coffee with me, I would tell you that somewhere monkeys are getting married because its raining and the sun is shining……
Thanks for the visit and have an awesome week
~B

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31 thoughts on “Of Coffee with Rats and cyclones

    • I’m also getting a pet cat, apparently its a writer thing, to drink coffee and write with a cat curled up at your feet….
      oh yeah and it keeps the rats away, they don’t like the scent of a predator……
      the monkeys and weddings thing, I grew up believing it….. I took a picture its a bit blurry but i’ll upload it when I get internet.
      Thanks
      ~B

      Liked by 2 people

  1. Glad you’re taking care of the rats, B. I heard about the cyclone all the way over here in the Divided States of America, and if anything breaks the President Pumpkinhead dominated news cycle then it must be news indeed. Glad to hear that you made it out okay.

    Also, I much prefer regular coffee!

    Liked by 1 person

    • I am going to add Pest Terminator to my resume ha!
      I’m always stuck between not watching the news because mostly a circus, and watching it to so as not miss important updates, you know like the aliens have landed, real aliens of an extra terrestrial origin….

      still safe and the weather has cleared up nicely and everything looks cleaner, bluer andgreener…. like the world needed a really good wash
      ~B

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I would like tea please, black with two sugars and a tagless teabag cause I want the bag to swim in my cup while I drink. Glad to still be having a cup with you and that Cyclone “Gift” missed you.

    PS: My cup of tea doesn’t get sweeter as you drink, in fact it becomes more bitter but that’s ok with me.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Oh rats! Glad you got rid of those Beaton you wouldn’t want them eating the cake at your birthday party, or creating a bit of a stink! As for those monkeys that was a memorable line to end on – I’m not sure what it meant but somehow I think it will stay in my mind rather like a long marriage!

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    • trumps indeed hahaha what happened to the dead mice, accidental death or deliberate…. Rats are so I dont know, do people keep pet rats? I know people keep mice, and Ron Weasly had a pet rat Scabbers but it wasnt really a rat it was Peter Pettigrew, so it doesnt acount…..
      ~B

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  4. The first dead mouse was the handy work of our cat who chased it behind a mirror where it got stuck and died and we couldn’t find it until…well…..big, ugle flies. Shudder. The second time, I’m not sure why it died, only that it died in our holiday trailer. As for pets….well, no rodent is a good rodent for a pet in my own opinion :o)

    Liked by 1 person

  5. We had a rat in our house once… Huge thing. There are poisons out there that actually make the insides dry out and cause no smell… I know, sounds revolting but it is hard for me to love a rat…
    Happy belated birthday!

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