Of Fifty Strands Of Grey

Titanium pearl
Metallic graphite
Silver dusk
Ash black
All shades of grey and counting

                                       How many grey strands do I have in my beard?

fifty strands.jpg

50 strands of grey that’s how many I counted from my beard before I stopped counting…… The thing about counting your greys…, you know how a witch’s spell is spelled, the way naming it makes it real, it is just like that.
From the day you look in the mirror and discover your first grey, then you pull at it, all nonchalant, thinking it’s a strand of linen or an errand fabric, that has no business on your person, only to discover it hurts when you pluck it (you never forget that day when you realise you are aging) and you count it ONE. You panic a bit and then eventually kid yourself into forgetting about it, that it was a special limited, one-time only freak of nature, a once-off.

Every morning you spend longer than you normally do, starring at your reflection not because you like the way you reflect….. and just when you relax and start to think, “Phew! Dodged that bullet”…. and then there were THREE and then NINE and then 27 progressing in some weird exponential curve increasing every time you count the grey ones…….

It’s all perfectly natural and happens to everyone at some point in time……. You age you get greys….. Except only when you get grey at a time way to early, I mean don’t we learn in biology 101 how you get grey as you age and die…. OH NO!!! Does this mean I am dying ?????Yes we are born then we die but in between all that, life happens..the thing is I am too young to die and too old to die young……..Its like having midlife crisis at half the age it normally happens… OMG quarter life crisis

I discovered my first grey(s) in my late teens when I was still struggling to grow the fuzz on my face that I called a beard….

I used to pluck out the greys with a tweezer, until I discovered that it is also like counting them, for every ONE you pluck a new crop of grey will pop up in an arithmetic progression that boggles the mind……. at that rate by Christmas my beard would have been so snow white, I could cast for Santa Claus minus the big tummy of course….

hot.jpg

Suddenly other people notice it too….. It is so cute(not) how someone will ask you “hey do you know your beard is grey?Erm oh really I hadn’t noticed…… Or “How old are you…?” It is so hard not to be insecure when you are self-conscious about your “uniqueness

And then someone introduced me to dye…. The beauty of synthetic colour…. For a while I had the vibrant rich colour as advertised on the pamphlet, but only for a week and some change and then would need to dye it again…. I was always careful not to swallow any dye, to avoid dyeing slowly on the inside you see… but I ruined more than one good tshirt with splashes of colour. This one time I accidentally dyed my beard a most curious shade of blue, the instructions on the bottle are in Chinese so, yeah that……. It was hilarious watching people trying super hard not to stare, stealing glances at me..

Ladies who never step outside without wearing make-up….. I get it now….
I even discovered a handy use for a mascara brush, well I think that’s what it`s called the one, some ladies use to brush out their eyebrows or is it eyelashes??, to look like maybe they were born with it….. anyhoo that brush is handy as a dye applicator especially when you are going for that pencil thin beard that looks like its painted on….2014-04-02 13.59.46.jpg
….But unfortunately just as the spell, as counting and as plucking, when the dye wears off, you wind up with even more grey (or maybe it seems that way). So eventually I took a leaf from page in my mum’s book….

My mum has had rich shiny Silver hair from the first day I became aware that this woman gave birth to me…

ma

She embraced the genes she was created with and carries her uniqueness like an armour; small wonder, even now, some people actually ask her what dye or tint she uses because her hair is that striking, she laughs and always says “I was born with it.” Her hair started going grey when she was in her teens and I guess oh those genes passed on to me…..2015-04-19 15.51.25.jpg
I shave and I trim but I don’t dye it back, I walk around with wisps of grey on my chin and I feel sophisticated. There is an old wives tale about how if you start to go grey early, it is a sign that you will die, a wealthy man…. Some people do a double take and ask me my age and say “aren’t you too young to look that old” and I smile and say “I have wisdom far beyond my age, I am simply an old soul remembering all the things I forgot…..
It’s still weird, when someone compliments me and asks what kind of dye I use on my beard, I am not used to being noticed I am normally a wallflower, watching, but am getting used to the shift from looking at, to being looked at…


Its my birthday today, I looked in the mirror and noticed I have way more grey than I used to but that’s ok, I’ll wear my grey like a badge the color of wisdom, I feel sophisticated ageing gracefully on my way to becoming ME

ma.jpg

whats a birthday but an excuse to eat cake?????

What is this, on my beard why that’s lil bits of wisdom far beyond my years.

~B

 

 

Of My 3rd Anniversay and 10k views

Its official me and my blog, we married because I got a WordPress notification that wished me a happy anniversary whoop whoop it has been three years since I signed up.

blog)

For the first half of the three years (just showing I have a solid grasp on the basics of algebra….. speaking of algebra doesn’t that sound like something mermaids would wear to a math ball under the sea {Algae Bra}…. Now you are thinking it too) My blog was set to a privacy mode such that the only eyes that read my crazy were mine but in the past year and half I unleashed it upon the inter-web: worldwide….

And the best present I could ever get I just clocked 10 000 views

odometer_10m_95212983.jpg

10k views

yey ^_^….. maybe it was one person who clicked 10 000 times maybe it was 10 000 people  who each visited my blog once…. I don’t care I don’t care I am just happy to have had an audience… much love ♥♥♥♥ danke, tatenda, thank you from my blog and I

I took the liberty of drawing a graph to show my blog traffic in the past 3 years I guess its true what they say about it being about what you put in….

graph.jpg

It probably makes more sense to aliens than either you or me, see I was day dreaming about mermaids and bras during math classes and might have discussed Harry Potter with a headless chicken

I never usually check my stats but today I did and thought why not make a quick shout out by country if I can get it down correct

So leggo:

Visitors from The United States seem to be the leading the hit counter holla to a few of my fave Steph, Tara, Rachael, Josh, Yinglan and the blogbattle family

And then the UK …. Phoenix Grey, D

Ireland Elle

Greece M.L. Kappa

Japan Ashi

Nepal R

Josephine, Afuaawo, Mimi

Coming to African countries Uganda seems to be leading on my top interactions shout out to Uganda Sunshine, Writer Chick, Mable,  CynthiaJoel

and then Ghana Josephine, Afuaawo, Mimi

Nigeria Mfon, Nedoux

Botswana Kearoma, Louisa

Rwanda Samira

Namibia Tuli

Zambia Martha,  Mulos

Malawi Lilacs and stuff

South Africa Sinawo

And finally my home country Zimbabwe …. Ndino simudza mureza Whoop whoop shout out to Colleen, CatMakaita, Miss Mona, Pineapple, Mr Mayor, Makupsy … and Zile lol

And to all of you who low key stalk my blog thanks for the support now go   read this and dont be strangers ^_^

~B

PS I know I forgot someone I’ll remember and add you dont worry be happy *whistles* and if I dont know where you blog from, do let me know but who cares they are only imaginary boundaries transcended by clicks and hashtags

 

Of Christmas Eve

These are my confessions…..

koledar.jpg

Until fairly recently (recently being relative) I used to think Christmas Eve was The Evening before Christmas.

Christmas Eve is the whole day before Christmas. (Just like New year’s Eve is the day before New Year)

So if a story being told  was about the evening before Christmas it would so begin ….

“It was the eve of Christmas Eve…..”

If I ever made a wish that All I want for Christmas is you, then tonight is when a Santa sneaks into your room, grabs you, ties you up with a ribbon  puts a cute bow around your waist, then places you in a bottomless pit with the rest of the gifts and takes you to the North Pole.

Christmas is infectious me thinks. Even if you said “No, I dont want to catch the Christmas spirit” and wore Hazmat suit, you would still catch it. The same way if a toddler gives you a toy phone and says “Its for you.” No matter how gangster you think you are you will answer it.

Its Christmas Eve and the Christmas spirit must needs be shared, when someone smiles and says “Merry Christmas” you cant help smile back and say “Merry Christmas to you too.”

And suddenly you look forward to Christmas day even if there are no presents even if you dont believe in santa or anything just spending it with all those people who mean the most to you, that is the Christmas Spirit.

Happy Holidays Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year

merry xmas

~B

Ps the Christmas Spirit tastes a little bit like a vodka and lemon cake you can find the recipe here