Of Coffee With Best Laid Plans

If you were having coffee with me I would welcome you like an expected favoured guest, and tell you to kindly disregard the mess, just find somewhere to sit and make yourself at home….. what will your poison be? I am having lemon tea which may or may not have a nip of gin.

This is ought to be day 17 of my blog everyday challenge but unforeseen circumstances kept my posting schedule rather erratic. When you plan things in your head everything is in a neat straight line but life likes to throw curve balls, whats important is what you do with them, catch and throw back!!!!

Reality Vs Your Plan

If you were having coffee with me I would tell you that my grandma was laid to rest following a beautiful catholic mass. My uncle, a staunch Seventh Day Adventist (for some reason they do not see eye to eye with Catholics) even made the comment that the singing was beautiful ruined only by drums that were played in the background. He likened it to someone preparing a scrumptious meal and then ruining it by adding way too much hot spice. I felt a twinge of guilt because I rather like my meals spicy; but they say one man’s meat…..

If you were having coffee with me; I would tell you how South Africa’s president Jacob Zuma resigned on Wednesday evening, well it was either that or risk an impeachment process. Its a situation somewhat reminiscent of what happened with our own president, it makes one question if democracy and electoral processes aren’t really just an elaborate scheme without real substance.

It would also be with deepest regret I informed you the passing away of one of the champions of democracy in Zimbabwe; President of the opposition party The Movement for Democratic Change MDC Morgan Tsvangirai. At one time he was poised to be president of the country but the former president Robert Mugabe had run-off elections declared followed by a rerun election in which he won a landslide victory. Again this is also why I wonder what democracy means to Africa because every other country seems to have problems with its presidency, its even rumoured that the colon cancer Morgan Tsvangirai had was somehow induced to take him out of the political field, but people talk, people will always talk………

If you were having coffee with me I would tell you that………… the only thing better than hanging only metres above a smoking volcano; for a breathtaking, front seat view. of a volcano erupting, dangling from a helicopter, whose pilot’s definition of fun is to let go of the controls , wave both hands and say “look ma NO HANDS”... Is to have someone to share it with…

Audience

Here are a few choice posts from fellow bloggers taking part in my #FEBlog Challenge

FEblog Challenge

Dante #Feblog Day 15: Democracy Just another word in the dictionary

Mel #Feblog Day 2 Dating And Social Media Expectations

Mable Maybe 

Quarter Wife I’ll be Watching the Relationship Olympics, Thanks

 

~B

 

 

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Of Love and Life in The Digital Age

You are familiar with the Three Mystic Apes also known as the Three Wise Monkeys:

See No Evil Hear No Evil Speak No evil

See No Evil, Hear No Evil and Speak No Evil

Mizaru, with eyes covered, sees no evil; Kikazaru, with covered ears, hears no evil; and Iwazaru, covering mouth, speaks no evil….

Well there is fourth whose wisdom and mysticism is somewhat debatable:

monkey with a phone  He sees nobody, he hears nobody and he speaks to nobody……. and yet on the internet the world is his oyster……

I always take what I read on the internet with a pinch of salt because much as it is a fun creative space, reducing physical distance into nothing more than a click on a screen, it seems to warp reality as we perceive it……

The more our phones capture reality, each new model with better camera, higher number of pixels and a bigger  screen with high definition screen; the less we actually experience it. It seems we have become a generation that seeks validity and relevance by the number of likes and retweets we get online, outsourcing even our conscience to online personas.

Sometimes it seems like people go out of their way to post pictures or share video clips from their lives to prove how they have made it in life or how awesome their dream holiday is even how perfect their relationship is. Almost as if they need the world’s approval to convince themselves that they have indeed arrived. Well maybe you have made it, but as for the rest of the easily swayed world who try to compete every second of their lives to a single moment, captured in a well-timed photo, disappointment awaits you…

Valentine’s has come and gone; with its commercialised; over hyped up trimmings, and of course throw in smart phones and the internet and suddenly people out to show how their better half is best; better than anyone else’s. Some seem to date simply so they can show off. I am sure a relationship is not a competition and Relationship Olympics are not an actual Olympic event but hey people are out there winning the Boyfriend Olympics and the Girlfriend Olympics on the internet.

Relationship Olympics

How do you stay in your lane if you want to Keep Up With The Internet Citizens who star in their own Reality Shows right on our internet timelines.

I read an interesting quote along the lines of :

“If you are going to do good deeds/charity work leave your camera behind”

I wonder if he knew, Alexander Graham Bell, back when he invented the telephone how much control his invention would have over our lives

The next time you are outside and happen to see the perfect sunset don’t take out your phone and take a picture just look at it until the light fades away…

sunset

~B

 

PS why wait only for Valentine’s Day to show how much someone means to you anyway? Live every day like its Valentine’s day.

The fourth monkey is called Post No Evil

Post No evil

 

 

photo Credit: Freaking News

 

Of Coffee, Cancer and Awards

If you were having coffee with me I would bid you welcome and tell you to get out of the rain before you catch your death of cold. You would probably ask me if I recently had my hair fixed up and I reply “What gave it away, was it the rain, it always rains after my wash day

If you were having coffee with me I would tell you that after all my experiences as a Rain God, I would have figured out that I should carry an umbrella after washday but see I have a terrible habit of losing them; I forget them in taxis, cloak rooms anywhere I set it down I’ll probably just walk away and not even turn around, until splash a drop of rain lands on me and I remember I had an umbrella but not anymore.

If you were having coffee with me I would tell you that today is world cancer day.

World Cancer day

Shout out to all the cancer survivors out there.

The risk of getting cancer can be reduced by practicing a healthy lifestyle and early detection increases the chances of treatment.

Ways to reduce cancer

If you were having coffee with me I would tell you that my grandma just passed away, the doctors say if the cancer had been detected early they might have been able to treat it. Go well grandma we wont cry we celebrate a life lived to its fullest.

If you were having coffee with me I would tell you how part of the reason I keep this blog is to shed light on my little corner of the world its not an S word. I was reminded of this as I read the following transcript from an interview of Chimamanda Adichie Ngozi by a French journalist:

Interviewer: Are your books read in Nigeria?

Chimamanda: Yes

Interviewer: Do they have libraries in Nigeria?

Chimamanda: I think it reflects poorly on France that you asked that question

Believe it or not someone once sent me an email asking if we have the internet in Africa, can you here my eyes roll?

If you were having coffee with me I would tell you I am on day 4 of my blog everyday challenge and that my blog was nominated for the Zim Blog Awards in the ARTs and Culture category please vote for Becoming The Muse thank you on the link below.

tribeofinfluencers.com

~B

 

PS I did say go vote right? Vote thank you again

 

Of The Rain God

 

I am a Rain God.

Try not to freak out, I am trying not to freak out either but that is my final conclusion, it makes perfect sense.

Why does it rain? It rains when two clouds love each other so much that they come together….  I will save you the geography lesson, besides I never really paid attention but I did learn a cool word for rain… PRECIPITATION. I also know another cool ran related word PETRICHOR (ask me nicely and I might tell you in an upcoming post.)

How to make it rain:

For most people it’s not exact science, unless of course you are into cloud seeding and such then it’s a near exact science but highly iffy. Cloud seeding is when you really love a cloud…. OK I really should have sat still and listened during my Geography class.

A Rain Ceremony is another way to make it rain, now that is definitely NOT a science it is more in the magic and mythical realm. You need to engage the services of a n’anga aka sangoma aka “witch doctor’’ what do you call such a bone throwing traditional “doctor”  where you come from? The doctor performs some sort of ancestral appeasement ceremony because mostly when it doesn’t rain its because you did something wrong and the ancestors are showing their displeasure. A rain dance might be done, traditional beer will be brewed and a cow or goat is slaughtered, those ancestors sure like a good party.

If you are an ordinary person and you want it to rain, its fairly easy just wish for it to not rain; throw a garden party  or some outdoors event, or wash all your clothes and hany them out to dry …. Chances are it will rain depending on your luck

The Rain God

 

I spent a tiny town in the Lowveld part of Zimbabwe, it’s a hot arid region with low precipitation. Whenever it rained I got a nose bleed, or rather now that I think about it, when it; When I got a nose bleed It Rained. Maybe it was the heat maybe it was the altitude and atmospheric pressure (ok I did pay attention during geography class) The nose bleeds were rather severe and distressing not only to me but to the witnesses. Eventually my grandma came up with a solution, smoke some Elephant dung. Yes it worked, I stopped getting nose bleed, it still rained though, so that’s a remedy for those who know anyone who suffers from frequent nose bleeds.

I grew up and grew my hair too.

Beaton

Now here is the thing, every single time I get my hair touched up usually after a washday routine(read it here):   IT RAINS.

washday

And after all the effort putting into fixing up my hair imagine getting rained on your parade. At first I used to brush it off as just a weird coincidence but now, not so much.

Washday

 

I had my washday the day before yesterday; it rained all of yesterday I tried fixing up the rain damage last night, and today:

Even FaceBook warned me to stay dry

Facebook

Its not just that it rains, it tries to rain on me, I like dancing in the rain but not when I have just got my hair done, the two strand twists start unravelling.

WhatsApp Image 2018-02-03 at 12.14.53

Maybe I should visit Cape Town I hear they could really do with some rain

 

I am a Rain God

#MyAfricaMyWords

~B

 

Of The February Blog Challenge

Hello February

February script

I rather like February, there’s something about it…. No it’s not about how the month is themed red, punctuated with hearts and strewn with flowers.

hEARTS AND ROSES

It’s not about how it’s been styled as the month of love, fodder for the creative mind, the poet who feeds equally on the broken hearted and the love struck; promises kept and promises broken.

Blind folded heart

It’s not because January is finally over. January seems to have way more days than any other month, it’s the Monday of months. Goodbye January, I won’t miss you.

I love February because I am a February baby, it’s written in the stars, poets are born in February. This when my New Year begins.

This year I decided to celebrate my month in style a little gift to my blog from me to me from my blog; feel free to reread that again from the top. You are welcome.

The FEBlog Challenge

This month I will be doing a blog every day challenge, start the year with a bang; hit the ground running; this is it, this is my year…..

I have a bunch of friends who will also be participating in the said challenge, if you ever tried a writing challenge, you will find that it is easier to do when, you know someone else out there is doing it with you…. If you feel moved to try it here are the suggested topics:

Feblog

The topics are all optional and not arranged in any order, if you could see a title that grabs your fancy, go ahead and join in… and guess what if there is ever a month that’s the easiest to complete a blog challenge that would be February; it has the least number of days… You are welcome

I do hope you will be part of this journey with me, and hopefully you learn a thing or two about me, my life and my world.

#MyAfricaMyWords FEBlog Day 1

~B

PS If you need a PDF copy of the listed topics please just get in touch.

Of Being An Introvert

Its World Introvert Day

world introvert day

Shout out to all my fellow introverts who are perfectly comfortable to sit in silence without feeling the need fill it up with awkward conversation and meaningless noise.

Introverts are a somewhat misunderstood sort, in a world that wont stop talking and all you want is a perfect moment of silence.

I feel lost in a crowd and I get asked the question “why are you quiet?” a lot, its not because I have nothing to say; I am always on the verge of words, yet never quite speaking; almost say things much more often than I say them.

why dont we all sit in a big circle hold hands and sing kumbaya?

~me attempting to socialise in the awkward silence at family reunions

Shout out to the Quarter Wife for sharing The Introverts Holiday Survival Guide

I write to know am not alone….

I want to be a mystery
yet be known,
to be in a crowd,
yet alone,
famous,
yet unknown,
To be a wanderer,
yet have a home…….

My personality type is INFP that basically means I’m like an onion, deeply metaphoric, made up of enigmatic layers beneath layers wrapped up in more layers & if I cut myself I cry

INFP means:

  Introverted
iNtuitive
  Feeling
  Perceiving

This all adds up to create an individual (such as myself lol) who is creative and highly empathetic; listening to many people but actually talking to a tiny elite circle who really know the crazyness that lurks beneath the surface..

i got your back clip art

Here are my favourite authors who are also INFP:

William Shakespeare, J.R.R Tolkien And George Orwell

I am not a huge fan in labels and confining yourself, I am a firm believer in that to define is to limit; but knowing what sort of individual you may be makes you better able to play your strengths and work on your weaknesses.

What is your personality type, do you know? You could try the free version here

~B

wizard within beaton

The world in my head is unlike what you can possibly imagine

Of 2018: The Year Thats Mine

Hello 2018

hello 2018

The first page of a new chapter…..

Depending on the parameters, any day, technically speaking, from a strictly empirical point of view could be the beginning of a New Year……

Convention has it that 1 January is the beginning of the calendar year….

January calender

Happy New year and welcome to my first blog post for 2018, and in time for the first supermoon for the year

A local Zim musician Tehn Diamond shared a twitter challenge to giveaway wallpapers with a personalized power word.

My word was Mlilo and this is my wallpaper

Mlilo

mlilo wallpaper

Mlilo means fire in Xitsonga language (also Moto in shona language)

Mlilo moto wallpaper

Fire is my totem amongst strangers I know who my tribal kin are….

Its uncommon to have an inanimate totem, imagine telling people that your spirit animal is fire. (you can read more about my totem in Zimbabwe here)

I am guessing that if dragons were real they would have been my totem and our praise song when you were announcing us in public or thanking us or just being super respectful or down right flattering; you would begin…

Introducing:

The first flame,

His most royal spontaneous combustor,

Consumer of all leaving nothing but ash,

Burner of things,

Bringer of light,

Chaser of darkness,

Giver of warmth

Keeper of secrets

and Maker of Heroes

I guess if we were characters in game of thrones we would be House Targaryen

what keeps me warm the fire inside

Fire fascinates me, fire burns and all fires burn its something you learn for yourself

fire

 

Hello 2018

……This year is mine

Cos I remember looking in the mirror last year 
Like, this is it, this is our year I swear  
Like The Year Before That
And The Year Before That 

Like the year before that
And the year before that

So I’m back up in the mirror singing the same song
I’m back up in the mirror like THIS YEAR’S YOURS
And the year before that . . . .

 

You might want to stand back I don’t know how hot I am going to get but….. flame on!!!

starting digital fires

 

Becoming The Muse

~B

 

Thanks tehn I play this jam at the beginning of every year as I did the year before that and the year before that!!!!!

 

January calendar credit Printable Calendars

 

Of Juice In A Wine Glass

Hello Sunday

If you were hanging out with me we would be having juice in wine glasses, because we are sophisticated, yeah step out of the ordinary

Juice in a wine glass

How has your week been? Good I trust.

Whats been happening in my neck of the woods, lets see the interim president finally announced his new cabinet… it pretty much looks like this:

metal cabinet

The newly appointed minister of finance introduced his budget for 2018 I don’t know much about economic policies or how governments run but seems decent enough budget considering working with what they have the bulk of the money is the wage bill for civil servants, living a runaway budget deficit in the region of close to 2 billion. I guess they are banking on a bail out by someone or that the economy really turns around…..

The irony though, government plans to retire civil servants over the age of 65, yet the average ages of the cabinet ministers is 65-70 years, the minister of youth is 68 and the president is 75 years old….

Sometimes you are the change you wish to see.

Moving along I know its Christmas when an evening walk in Harare’s first street is a burst of Christmas lights and Africa Unity Square is riot of colour wishing you a merry Christmas and a prosperous New Year

Christmas Lights Africa Unity square

On Friday in a colourful event dubbed Light Up Harare The Mayor Officially switched on the Sunshine City’s Christmas lights (well they had been on for almost weeks now but now its official)

Light Up Harare Christmas

Let the Christmas festivities commence Season’s Greetings

I hear its snowing across the globe on the other side of the world, stay safe, I am curious about snow, having never seen it before; does it feel like ice in the refrigerator, is it cold (don’t answer that) when it lands on your eyelashes does it tickle? Can you eat it what does it taste like, I do know you should not eat the yellow snow ha!

Gotta love the internet it brings the world to the tip of my fingers…

Speaking of the internet, Tuesday 5 December was the day the internet stopped working well they fixed it eventually but from  11.30 to 1700 major internet service providers  well could not provide the internet……

A tractor ploughing a field in South Africa accidentally cut the main fibre cable which supplies the bulk of Zimbabwe’s telecommunications through Liquid Telecoms including the backup redundancy line and in an unrelated coincidence at about the same time a Harare municipal worker in Kuwadzana also cut the fibre cable which links ADSL provider Telone to Botswana and the world …………

*insert deep in thought emoji*

That’s a whole lot of cable cutting right there, I mean aren’t they buried safely beneath the ground I have seen them dig up our drive way to bury them (read here) Don’t they markers or something to warn people *insert appropriate emoji*

Also they really seriously need to work on their backup lines.

Unless of course as some people suggest, the whole thing was a government exercise to test if they can shutdown the internet, I wouldnt put it past them they have done it before, (or so we suspect) in a move to derail a social media campaign that was mobilising people to carry flags and ShutDown Zimbabwe, they even put up some legislation criminalising the carrying and selling of flags without prior authority. Maybe they shut down the internet to install some cyber monitoring  protocols? Conspiracy conspiracy, too bad even if they did and we asked them they would probably deny it (I would too if I was the government)

An investigation is underway to find out the what really happened the day the internet died stay tuned…….

On the upside since I had no internet on the day and couldn’t figure out what to do with myself I ended up finishing reading a book I started and have been neglecting and I also rewatched the movies Moana and Trolls  yes I love animated flicks I am forever young expect reviews coming soonest….

Dear maintenance crews be more careful with our cables hey

Sincerely

~B

Of Birth Days

Birthdays are awesome things, they are the one day in the year people are extremely nice to you (not counting weddings) for simply breathing. People pop out from all over the woodwork to wish you happy birthday, for one day you feel like a celebrity people giving you gifts for literally just being ALIVE….

Heart ECG

Alive

Tell a random stranger its your birthday today and they will smile; tell you congratulations and wish you many more. You might even get personalized service or a complimentary on the house treat (dont get any ideas….) but I want to be rich and famous enough to never have to pay for anything.

Sometimes I wish we had birthdays every day or at least if people treated as on your birthday every day.
If anyone really deserves to get a gift on your birthday it would be our mothers, I mean they did all the hard labour…….. and you simply got your first birthday present, Your Name.

hello my name is........

My first birthday gift

I like to think of birthdays as nature’s way of telling you to eat more cake and apparently the more cake you eat, the longer you live, count the candles on your cake if you don’t believe……….

 

Happy Birthday

Let them eat cake

The world population is mind boggingly huge and everyday someone somewhere has a birthday. Everyday I check my email (I used to have over 1000 unread emails but I am pleased to now run a tight inbox)

The first email of the day is always invariably  a birthday notification from Facebook telling me someone I know has a birthday and I must let them know I am thinking about them…..

facebook birthday Email notifications
I love this Facebook feature because it helps me identify unnecessary individuals in my friends list who need removing…. (by the way does anyone else find it remotely disturbing that the address Facebook and Instagram is 1 Hacker Way)

and the kind I always promise “we should catch up”………..

We should catch up text

sometimes life happens:

So I always say I will deactivate my FB notifications but I never get round to it, they are quite helpful…….

Note well: If you write HBD on my Facebook wall for my birthday, I will block you.
~B

PS Today is my mother’s birthday, she turns something a year older than she was last year, a lady always maintains an element of mystery, correct?

to one who bears the sweetest names

To one who bears a Blessed name

Happy birthday to the woman whom if she never existed neither would we

Blessed Family

Blessed's Family

Blessed’s Family

cakes and laughter…….

cutting birthday cake

happy birthday Mum

cheers