Of Coffee, Pies and Bombs

Coffee, Pork Pies and Bombs

If you were having coffee with me, I’d say allow me to treat you to what used to be the darling of pies, The Colcom Pork Pie.

Tea colcom pie

You can have a cup of herbal lemon tea, while the pie warms up in the microwave. Can you smell that? I hope you aren’t a vegetarian or don’t eat pork for some reason, if so then graciously accept my apologies and you can have toast instead

french toast

Imagine after all that anticipation, you open the package and are greeted with a crumbling pastry product a pale shadow of its former glory with a meat center that’s now barely existent, that makes you wonder what the quality department takes its consumers for, seriously.

Pork Payi?

No wonder people have taken to calling it Pork Payi? Meaning where is the Pork.

#ThisPie

If you were having coffee with me I’d tell you that my vote just might be for sale to the person who can guarantee an economy in which a company can afford to put proper meat filling in its pastries to make a pastry pie I can still afford to buy……

According to a poll conducted by the Orange Door Research via an sms-based survey sent to 1200 people:
48% of all respondents said the economic situation was the most critical issue facing the country,
23% said free & fair elections
17% Corruption, & 12% improving basic services

According to Zimstats 98% of youth are employed in the informal sector. So our graduates have a 2% chance of getting a formal job…..

If you were having coffee with me I’d tell you that our elections are 35 days away and it looks like candidates are pulling out all the stops

From a Minister officially opening a bin;

Minister opens bin

well to be fair he was opening a new sports center nearby but I guess the commissioning fever got to his head, we’ll try not to even think about why the bin already has trash inside……. but the internet go crazy checkout the #chinamasachallenge

And then on to something a little more sobering the bomb attack on the president as he was leaving a rally in Bulawayo, Zimbabwe now that one has me in shock, I never thought we would stoop to senseless violence, I thought we had our problems but at least we never lost our heads and went the route of trying to bomb the President. Fortunately he survived the blast and the were no fatalities although almost 40 people were treated for various injuries.

Various conspiracy theories are flying around from the one about the bomb being a stage managed incident to get sympathy vote and as an excuse to increase military clamp down and then there’s the one about it being a falling out between the president and the army, or that the former president might have had something do with it and a whole lot of other theories ranging from absurd to down right alarming.

There was also a bombing attempt on the Ethiopia’s Prime Minister at rally in the capital leaving scores injured and several critical and a single casualty…..

Violence usually begets violence and here’s to praying that this isn’t the start of a journey down a dark bloody path.

Have an awesome week Stay Classy!

~B

 

 

 

 

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Of Chance Encounters

Genre: slight mystery could be a romance

seat.jpg

When you board a bus and can seat anywhere you want, do you prefer the aisle seat or the window seat? In most buses here, unless you have pre-booked a seat on a coach, usually the first person gets the window seat and the next person gets the dubious honour of the aisle seat.

Now I don’t know if it is just me or if anyone else does that little selfish act of praying and hoping the stranger who sits next to you is kinda hot?

Not you, not you not, oh no don’t stop” you think to yourself as you watch people walk past, trying not to make eye contact because they will stop and ask you if the seat is taken and strange enough that’s the moment the hot stranger passes you by isn’t; it ironic?

bag.jpg

Finally you spot a likely candidate, you wouldn’t mind spending the rest of your life with…oops I mean the duration of the journey. They have the most remarkable eyes, soulful and expressive and smiles, smiles like a beauty queen. You shift your bags to the side and scoot over to the window side to make sure there is no mistaking it the seat is indeed free you smile and gesture nonchalantly  at the vacant sit, when they ask is anyone there you casually shake your head like it’s no big deal as shimmies right next to you.

You making some small talk and find out you getting off at the same stop and that you both already have tickets but she forgot to buy something, you don’t ask what because it’s rude to pry anyway she asks you to watch her bags while she makes a quick dash out the bus. You agree and now you don’t have to lie or be weird when someone asks “is this seat taken?”

They said would be gone only a moment, but suddenly the bus gets full; your seat is the only one with a “missing person” the driver starts the bus and you suddenly don’t remember what your fellow passenger looked like, the colour of her eyes or what they were wearing, you didn’t even ask their name….

You call the conductor and say “Excuse me, someone hasn’t gotten back into the bus yet and they left their luggage….”

The conductor asks you what for must they do because the bus operates on a timetable and they can’t wait for even a moment longer and naturally they are already late so can’t even possibly afford the delay.

What do you do? What do you do?

You could get off the bus with the bag but you have substantial luggage of your own too, and getting a refund from the bus operators is although not impossible, it’s not the easiest thing in the world.  You could just adopt the bag for a little while and hope they make a plan to catch up with the bus and considering they did say would be disembarking at same destination as you, if they don’t you could take the bag to the police there and maybe they can search for something to identify the owner or make a radio announcement or something…. Anything….

If you were me, you would be in bus sitting next to stranger’s bag wondering how you got yourself into this mess. I mean I sat here first and they sat next to me, and oh what lovely eyes she had..uhmm so I admit “they” looked hot and smiled a lot what guy wud say NO!

What if there is goblin in the bag? I have heard stories of how when people no longer want their money making charms or goblins because they require too much blood sacrifice, they dump them in bags at crossroads or some such and some poor hapless fellow picks up the curse… what if that’s what happened here, suddenly I am not sure whether I believe that voodoo stuff or not, do you?

What’s in the bag?….

What Would Jesus Do? Jesus would help a stranger in need, right? And cast out the demons in the bag, probably divine the owner’s address and phone number too….

What’s in the bag?….

What if it’s a bomb…., I have watched enough the terrorist attack movies to know that the standard operating procedure of bombing a public area is leaving unattended luggage on a bus, train or at the station….

What’s in the bag?…

As the bus is pulling out of the station the bag simultaneously starts to vibrate and hum, my heart misses several beats. This is how it ends, my life. They say just before you die your life flashes before your eyes, mine didn’t, I heard something instead, music; the beginning of a classic song…

Knock knock knocking on heaven’s door…..

Suddenly it hits me, its a ringtone, hey it’s a phone ringing. A cellphone rings in a bag you was entrusted to watch and there’s no one else but you….. what do you do? What do you do?

If you were me you would answer the phone…. Hesitantly…

Turns out it is the bag’s owner.

Hi I am Hazel” she says and apologizes for missing the bus and imposing on me like this but could I keep her bag, and she will be hitching a ride in next available vehicle so will be right behind me and will meet up later.

It’s a date” I reply.

~B

Blogbattle Entry themed Hazel

PS moral of this story, I think you must just have your name and contact details clearly marked on your luggage, and careful what you wish for……

^_^