Of Feeling The Earth Move

I felt the Earth move beneath the soles of my feet, a tremor deep from the bowels of the planet’s core.

I was sitting on the sofa watching TV and tweeting about it….  and then I noticed that it was just that I could feel The Earth beneath my feet but the sofa was vibrating ever so slightly like it was a massage chair and the windows were rattling like a freight train was passing through my backyard…. There is no railway line in our backyard, so it could only mean one thing…. a derailed freight train was being all unstoppable outside the house…. I got up and peered casually outside the window half expecting to hear the shrill blast of a train’s horn or see the headlights coming straight at me and I could look like a startled deer watching a flame come to burn it, wait that’s a moth, but see a moth would have flown to the flame, the flame would have come for me…..I guess my imagination is just like runaway train of thought….

The internet is such a handy tool, instead going crazy trying to figure out if I had gone crazy a few clicks later I knew what happened…..

Turns out it was an earthquake:


A 6.5 magnitude earthquake with an epicentre in central Botswana occurred at 1940hrs CAT, and the tremors were felt in Botswana, South Africa and Zimbabwe.

I haven’t heard of any causalities so I presume people only got a little shaken up nothing serious…

Its amazing isn’t our ability to laugh at  the things that frighten, our on way of assuring ourselves that, that wasn’t so bad give me another challenge… see fear cant abide humour, were it not for laughter sometimes fear  would never leave, that’s because fear usually arrives late, inevitably leaves early, and ends up never going out at all.

So when you wake up in the morning and find people joking about earthquakes all over social media maybe they are not just being funny, they are saying hey lets laugh because we are not afraid… at least lets pretend we didn’t for a second think the world was going to end, aint no body got time to live their lives like that….

I felt the Earth move beneath my feet and I laughed, did you feel it too…..?


PS If you didn’t feel anything and you are wondering if it was real, the internet says it was real so it was real



Of Lacking Toes Intolerance

I almost died the other day.
A huge snake tried to swallow me whole, I was minding my own business at the back of the yard when it jus popped out of the blue right in front of me, like the slithering serpent it is, and it was trying to have me as an after breakfast snack I presume, its fangs were barred like a rabid dog flicking its forked tongue about provocatively, it was as long as from here to where I am, and its teeth were yay big, I think it was just like the anaconda I saw in that movie I fell asleep watching the other day,  I don’t know what color it was because I didn’t really see it, as such…… 🙈
….All I heard was a rustling sound and I knew…
No other creature makes a rustling sound like that, I tried to kill it by screaming in a particular frequency that will shutter its skull and burst its brain.
I think I sounded more like someone taking an ice cold shower on a really cold day at 4 in the morning.
I am sure it did not work.
Because today I woke up to find a rat on my doorstep. A rat that looks like it got swallowed then spat out, by a snake.
At first I decided I am never going outside again but then when the boogeyman comes for you, you do not put a blanket over your head and pretend the monster does not exist. Oh no. You put the blanket on the monster’s head and it thinks it does not exist.
Then you slay it.
You see facing your fears like any life challenge is just like a bullfight. You grab the bull by the horns, wrestle it to the ground and when it’s down you stab it.
Walking away in slow motion is an option.
Anyway so now, I am lookin for a stick to hit the snake with across the spine,
a rock to bash its head in,
a machete to chop its head off,
then place it in an old rubber tyre,
pour petrol on it and set it on fire because that’s how you kill a snake dead!!
Anyhoo may I please have some match sticks or a lighter or just bring me electricity or fuel for the generator (this is what happens in my overactive mind when I sit in the dark for too long, it’s been almost 38 hours without electricity) the movies playing in my imagination are starting to freak me out!!

Snakes are scary it’s OK to be scared of them.
I think it’s something to do with that they have no legs, you could call me LackToes intolerant.
I look at it slither sinisterly along the ground in the serpentine manner only a serpent can and I think “oh, look at that lovely piece death, where were you when every other creature was standing in line to get their limbs?
(fish don’t count since they live in water)
The Millepede said: can I have 1,000s and 1,000s
The Spider: 8 is fine
The Ant said: 6 is cool with me.         Man: I will take two please

and the Snake was just slithering along hissing and all and said Nuh dont need any.
And that right there is my problem with snakes.
I know exactly the type of snakes I do not like:
>big snakes
>little snakes
>sticks which look like snakes
>things that rustle like snakes

I know not all of them are poisonous and they are probably more scared of me than I am of them.
But there is that one; the possibility is … possible. The deadly viper that with all likely likelihood, indeed will bite you and with a certain certainty you die.

So I now no doubt reach the propitious, inevitable conclusion.

All perfectly reasonable, possible, probable and inevitable.
All Snakes Must Die or stay away from me.

Memoirs of a Lack Toes intolerant man.


PS no snakes were harmed in the making of this post.

of nite vision

At nite i see the reality the daylite conceals,

the brightest light also casts the darkest shadow,

shadows are forms more real than any real being,

cloaked in sunny smiles and warm coats by day,

hiding the flaws ,

darkness kindles and feeds the imagination,

by denying sight intensifies and heightens other sensations,

easier to face the truth when you cant see it,

coz sometimes sightful visions are more misleading,

better in darkness when you cant see the judging eyes staring,

in the dark of nite,

in the stillness,

like a shadow ,

quitely stealing,

into the dark corners of my mind

treading softly

so as not disturb the sleeping ghosts,

of my past mistakes,

let sleeping ghosts lie,

i hunt the prey of remembered memories,

i found happiness before,

i’l find it again,

if i can find it in the dark,

in the cold ,

imagine how it will be

when the light and warmth come with sunrise.