Of Coffee with Jack Of All Trades

If you were having coffee with me; I would welcome you into my house and home like the favourite guest that you are. I might not mention it enough or ever at all but I do so love your visits; every time there is a knock at the door, I hope its you but; its only my twin toddler nephews, they have discovered the art of knocking on doors.

They knock on open doors, they knock on closed doors they knock on all doors and surfaces until you say “Come in”; then they knock some more and giggle… And they have discovered clothes have pockets anything they pick up goes straight in there; money, keys, pens, thats the first place you should look when you cant find something, which happens, twice like déjà vu because twins….

Ah yes I’ve always wondered why babies clothes have pockets:

They are for putting all the “dollars”  from visitors so their parents so can buy treats for the them( ah the embezzlement that occurs, I guess its payment for all the drama toddlers cause) and also as My twitter Neha friend pointed out kids’ pockets are filled with innocence….

…….and that inspired the beginning of a story rattling about in my head:

“Once they had walked merrily, arm in arm, not a care in the world, pockets full of innocence and sunshine; until the day they dipped into the pockets to find them empty, somewhere along the way, no one knew where; innocence got lost or stolen or if they ever had it at all. Now they walked arms protectively crossed; some where along the way they had become adults……”

If you were having coffee with me I would tell that every time I have an interesting idea I have decided to write it down because I absolutely hate it when I sit down and realize I don’t remember what the idea was, simply haunted by the ghost of a brilliant idea that’s just at the edge of recollection…..

If you were having coffee with me I would say thank you for pretending to not notice that the house is a mess, we have been doing some home improvements, and also some furniture got damaged when we moved. Moving is rough on wooden furniture and glassware; the fact that it was raining; didn’t help.

Everyday I write but yesterday I was a carpenter repairing furniture, the day before that I was a babysitter, today I am an electrician and tomorrow I will be a plumber and maybe the day after that a painter, and then a gardener.

Gardening is therapeutic; plants require only water and sun, you can even whisper your secrets to them if you like, the perfect best friend, who is always there, by the green patch where you first met, they will listen without interrupting, they don’t judge and you know they will keep your secret to the earth they sprouted from or until you cook them and have them for dinner, well because plants don’t talk and they are rooted to the spot (unless it’s a pot plant… HA) Its not weird right? To name your vegetables (Asking for a friend)

Its been lovely having you over, do tell what have you been upto? Read any good books seen any good movies… does watching a movie based on book with the subtitles enabled count as reading the book??

If you were having coffee with me I would ask you if you had to choose between Strong Roots or Strong Wings… what would you pick?

~B

PS My life is so much more interesting in my head…

mind.jpg

Its been two months since we moved and yeah about 90% unpacked yey!!! Unpacking is such a process…..

Advertisements

OF Things Found In Boxes

Of The Things Found In Boxes….While Unpacking

You never know what you have until you are done unpacking…..

I shared with you some of the curious things I discovered while I was unpacking in my last post about moving and bonfires, and if you must know I am rocking a pair of 80s fashion pants…. Well I am bringing the 80s back, style I really am an old soul and not just by the fifty strands greys in my beard….

white.jpg

I found these pants in a wardrobe that’s been in storage for quite the longest time ……

While on that subject of longest of times I also discovered this smoke-preserved barbequed meat, also known as biltong or Chimukuyu in Shona.

Who knows how long its been there? Dare I eat it?

Eat.jpg

Spicy

Ok if I suddenly develop mad cow disease or get any crazier than one would expect from a writer type…. please refer my doctor and or psychiatrist to this post, I am assuming the meat is beef but frankly it could be anything that once lived under the sun……

 

The first thing I unpacked was my dumbbells…. Because Fitness Freak.

Unt.jpg

Yeah I can run for quite far with one in each hand and then repeatedly punch at imaginary targets which is great practise for when I need to defend myself from invisible assailants with featherweight punches.

A Credence Clearwater Revival Vinyl LP tape….

CCR.jpgThe moon is shining outside and I am bopping away to some….. Bad Moon Rising as I write this post…..

Some interesting T-shirts I have never gotten round to wearing because I wasn’t brave enough….

A book project I started writing ten years ago…… when I was this big *you can’t seen my hands but I gesturing my height and or size reference * I signed of as B-Man *groans*

Yes, I went to Gokomere High School in case you are wondering……

For the fun of it I might just type it up and publish it on to here….. it deserves its slice of immortality than just to live in a grave of long forgotten dreams in box beneath my bed…. Maybe I might even finish it…… if anything its proof the writing bug bit me a long time ago……

Fun fact did you know it would take a 29 39040seconds to tick away 1 000 years…   I did the math… without a calculator

calculating.jpg

And finally a boxful literally of bullshit, genuine African Elephant bullshit from Gonarezhou game park…..

Untitled.jpg

It’s a cure for people who experience chronic nosebleeds, smoke this bad boy up and presto, you wont get nosebleeds as frequent. Ok you don’t really smoke it, you burn it and inhale a bit of the smoke, you inhale but you don’t smoke there is a difference right? Hashtag AskBill I don’t know about the actual physiological pathways but it works, if any doctors are in the house please do let us know… my granma swore by this stuff and I used to get regular nosebleeds but look at me now I don’t remember the last time I had one….

well I think I am mostly done with unpacking, and life gets back to its regular scheduled programming

~B

PS I hope you had already eaten maybe I should have warned you about the elephant dung but its dry and smells like well compost and decaying leaves…..so I figured it shouldn’t violate any sensibilities ….☻☺☺☺

Of Coffee, Moving and Throwbacks

If you were having coffee with me, well we might not be having coffee because the teapot is in a large bucket somewhere and I found only one cup and everything is in boxes, we have just moved you see.

You never realise till you have to move home how much unnecessary debris you accumulate with time, all those things you once thought might come in handy, just like chickens coming home to roost. I guess by nature most people are hoarders making hay while the sun shines, saving for the proverbial rainy day. You wake up one day and realise your life is crowded with clutter which you have no good reason for keeping and some serious house cleaning is needed.

On the upside all the things you thought were gone forever swallowed by some vortex of all consuming nothingness suddenly get spewed out from beneath beds, in between sofa upholstery, in cupboards and drawers for some reason you never open, ever.

You dont know how much stuff you have until you have to pack and move and suddenly the boxes and bags you needed well you need double that and little bit more too.
Packing is fairly easy, unpacking on the other hand is a process which you never entirely finish.

If you were having coffee with me I would tell you that while unpacking boxes, I have discovered things that I packed over a decade ago and never quite got round to unpacking. Its like a trip down memory lane but I need space for new memories so I will de-clutter and make new memories its almost metaphoric as it is literal.

Assorted Mail and Cards

I found a birthday card from when I was 5… While I wasn’t really five I was way older maybe 3 times that plus five but it was a joke. Crazy times

One Philips VCR and accessories.IMG_20170305_172948.jpg
This was quite the beast in its hey days boasting 4 heads and Turbo Drive whatever the heck that meant.

One Video Cassette Rewinder.IMG_20170305_173216.jpg
Remember a time when you used to rent movies from a video club and they would insist that you rewind the video cassettes before you returned them otherwise they would charge you a small fine and besides it was the right thing to do. Imagine hiring a movie and having to rewind it first before you could get round to enjoying your movie night. Anyway this little baby with LED indicator could super rewind a 3HR VHS tape in just under 60s. I would take it to the Video Club and if I helped them rewind a couple of tapes they would let me borrow
.
A couple of Video cassette tapes and some audio cassette tapes.

I watched classic Disney cartoons, I know all of Santa’s Reindeer by name, Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donna, Blitzen. I dont know how many times I watched Rudolph and the only actor I recognize as Superman is Christopher Reeve. I grew up listening to music by ABBA, and Bob Marley I want to go back to a time, when the music made you feel alive and not just crazy beats and mumbled bars.
And something from way back,�..
Vinyl records.
These things never die unlike they digitally superior cousins, compact discs CDs and DVD that easily get scratched

Crazy Notes
If I told you at some point in time one could walk around with billions of dollars you would find it hard to believe

And how about this note here

ten trillion Dollars

Ten Trillion Dollars

It got so bad they had to slash off the zeros and start again and then eventually did away with the currency all together.
If you were having coffee with me, we would be having a large bonfire, burning boxes and boxes of memories we would sit by the verandah mugs in hands and be warmed by the fire as years of memory became ash….. Maybe I just like playing with fire.

~B

PS this post should have pics but USB memory stick with the images is currently in a very safe place, somewhere I just don’t quite remember where..

PPS I found the pics ☺☻♥