Of My Selfish Love

being loved by a writer;

Dear Muse;

When I say I’m in love with you,
I mean I am selfishly in love with you
I love myself through you.
I love seeing myself through your eyes,
I love seeing myself through my eyes,
imagining how I look through your eyes
I love watching you read the words I wrote
and secretly knowing that they are for your eyes only,
although the whole world can read them too,
When I say I am in love with you;
I mean I love to see you listening to all the stories I have to share,
I love having you to express to;
my opinions,
my profound theories and beliefs,
Especially the silliest things,
along with the important things in my life.
I love hearing myself say these things as I imagine how they sound to you,
and how enthralled I imagine you are with me as I am;
With me.

When I say I’m in love with you,
I mean I love having;
Someone beautiful to wear,
like a favourite outfit.
I love the way you feel on me.
I love the way I feel about me when you are with me.
When I say I am love with you I mean I love how familiar you feel,
like I have known you forever,
in a place without time or in another life,
somewhere between my past life and my next life.
When I say I’m in love with you, I mean I love not being alone.
I love not being that tree falling in the forest that no one heard;
That book that has never been read.
I love having you as my full-time personal audience.
When I say I’m in love with you,
I mean I want you to give me all of your most precious gift;
Your Undivided Attention.
I want to be the reason your world lights up,
as you watch the fire that is me,
Burn.
I mean would burn down to the ground for you;
so you could watch me from its ashes rise like a phoenix.
When I say I’m in love with you, I mean I’m in love with being your sun,
monopolizing your orbit, being your gravity,
keeping you drawn back to me no matter how hard you try to jump or fly,
keeping you down.
Keeping you mine.
Lighting up your world
When I say I’m in love with you what I mean is I love staring at myself in the mirror only to see you standing behind me smiling
When I say I’m in love with you I mean I love
being your mystery,
your riddle,
being what keeps you up at night,
your addiction,
your obsession.
I love being your altar,
your sacrament,
your icon,
your miracle.
I love being your answer.
I love being the object of your sacrifice.
I love being your pain.
When I say I’m in love with you, I mean that if I had to write down what gives me joy in one word it would be your name,
I love your voice,
When you say my mine,
Your lips,
When you smile at me.
Your eyes,
When you looking at me,
And when you do all three at the same time;
For an instant; time stops.
When I say I’m in love with you, I mean I’m in love with breathing your air, eating your dreams.
I’m in love with being your drug,
your drug dealer
your dagger
your lil secret
Your Joy
When I say I’m in love with you, I mean I love the story I can tell to my next love,
about my ex-love,
About how they will never compare to you or understand me like you do
about how beautiful things were,
How crazy,
How intense,
How storybook,
What a couple we were,
and how you gradually, inexplicably,
Bit by bit,
Disappeared.
How I still wait for you like the man who can not be moved;
When I say I’m in love with you,
What I really mean is that
only you make me Me,
and all the stories I have yet to write;
You Are My Muse.

~B

OF 54321 things about me

 

54321 Tag

I found this nifty tag in my drafts folder as a post already in progress, I don’t remember who tagged me, on account of well having been MIA from the internet….if it was you, do give us a shout… Where have I been? I keep getting asked…. Well I have been Being…….

Things You Can’t Live Without

i. My brain, obviously without it, I would not be really me now or think awesome       thoughts now would I?
ii. My heart, not the one filled with blood and muscles and arteries but the one that fills me with the passion that rules my mind.
iii. Oxygen, I need it to breathe and stuff
iv. A muse.
v. Curiosity. It is weird right, kills cats, but good thing I am not a cat, otherwise the one      thing, I would not be able to live without, is the one thing that would kill me.

Pet Peeves
I wouldn’t say I am fussy but a few things really grind my gears
i. People who use excessive shorthand in messages. It makes me want to gorge my eyes out with my thumbnails, to unsee; what do you guys do with all that free time you save by butchering words like a bull trying to knit with its own horns?
ii. Aspiring Writers. I mean why aspire to be something you already are, you are not an aspiring writer, you are a writer, just write something.
iii. People who rip,tear, shred, bend, fold, deface, disfigure, smudge or in anyway mistreat a book. Trees did not die for that.
iv. people who try to engage me in conversation when I am reading a novel with my earphones plugged in, that should be a universal symbol for DO NOT DISTURB

 Things You Want To Do
i. Travel the world
ii. Write about it
iii. Not Die… at least not agonally

 Unique Characteristics About
unique characteristics about me???? if you have been reading things you can easily tell
i. life is oh so much fun living in my head.

ii. I aint like anyone else I am unique just like everyone else.

The screen saver on your phone

~B

PS If you found the 54321 tag amusing feel free consider yourself tagged, you could drop your response in the comment or on your blog and do paste the link or pingback so I can find yours, cool beans.

Of The Muse In You: message in a bottle

Welcome to this interesting journey where you muse me:

The story so far…..

I sat at my laptop, about to press the delete button on an email from an unknown number but the universe spoke…. Take a chance

So the decision was unanimous Take A Chance (thank you all who voted now we proceed)

Just as I was about to press the delete button, I realised that I had been humming along to a song playing on the radio, a golden oldie classic by ABBA, Take A Chance On Me. What further sign did I need from the universe?
Here goes nothing, I thought as  I clicked open the email. I paused a little bit, half expecting my antivirus to pop up a notification with a red alert sound warning announcing threat detected. I really should mute that option, it had gotten me into several awkward situations, but again it was another one of those things I meant to do but never did quite get round to, anyway all was quiet on my antivirus front so I guess it was safe enough.
I quickly scanned through the email, then read it again slowly.

Hi Stranger
I randomly entered your email address and hit the send button. Think of this as a message in a bottle.
I will understand if you don’t reply I am not asking for much all I want is simply a friend to talk to. I hope you reply
Regards
Nya Chiuta

I stared at the screen wondering what I should do…..
1 ignore the email
2 delete the email mark sender as spam
3 forward it to my know-it-all friend
4. Google the sender and email address to check if they not listed under any scam artists
5. Reply to the email
6. Other…. comment your suggestion

Of The Muse In You: The Beginning

Becoming The Museum

My auto-correct does this cute little thing, every time I type the word museum it sneaks in the word museum with hilarious consequences. It’s  interesting how it tries to finish my sentences with its next word prediction but on the upside it inspired me to start a new story.

But I need your help, yes you its simple, muse me, be my museum of muses.

I will write a lil short story, and at the end of it there will be a choice of how the story should proceed, you tell me; and at the end of the week I will pick the most popular choice and continue the story from there to the next set of choices, where the story leads nobody knows, making it up as I go along.

The Muse in you……..The beginning.

“Take a chance” that was the message I found in the fortune cookie I ate for breakfast. The piece of paper was lay there on table not going away.  I am not overly superstitious but sometimes, you know how you get that funny feeling, that the universe is trying to tell you something, I had that feeling.

I powered on my laptop and a notification for two new emails popped up.

The first message was some spam email from Daily Horoscopes, I kept meaning to unsubscribe but never got round to it, sometimes the messages were little inspirational gems. Today’s message read:

“A wonderful opportunity awaits you today….”

I know the messages were some generic computer generated messages but sometimes they brought a smile to my face. Maybe thats why I never got round to unsubscribing to them, that and sometimes those were the only new emails I got and those that started “Dear Sir we regret to inform you……”

The second message, was some email, I did not recognize the sender and the subject line read Dear Reader. That’s how you got a virus on your machine by clicking on emails from unknown people.

I was about to click on the [Delete ALL]  button without even reading when I happened to glance at the little piece of paper beside the laptop “Take A Chance….”

What happens next; you tell me:

1. Mark as spam then Delete Delete Delete
2. Take A Chance

~B