Of The Rain God

 

I am a Rain God.

Try not to freak out, I am trying not to freak out either but that is my final conclusion, it makes perfect sense.

Why does it rain? It rains when two clouds love each other so much that they come together….  I will save you the geography lesson, besides I never really paid attention but I did learn a cool word for rain… PRECIPITATION. I also know another cool ran related word PETRICHOR (ask me nicely and I might tell you in an upcoming post.)

How to make it rain:

For most people it’s not exact science, unless of course you are into cloud seeding and such then it’s a near exact science but highly iffy. Cloud seeding is when you really love a cloud…. OK I really should have sat still and listened during my Geography class.

A Rain Ceremony is another way to make it rain, now that is definitely NOT a science it is more in the magic and mythical realm. You need to engage the services of a n’anga aka sangoma aka “witch doctor’’ what do you call such a bone throwing traditional “doctor”  where you come from? The doctor performs some sort of ancestral appeasement ceremony because mostly when it doesn’t rain its because you did something wrong and the ancestors are showing their displeasure. A rain dance might be done, traditional beer will be brewed and a cow or goat is slaughtered, those ancestors sure like a good party.

If you are an ordinary person and you want it to rain, its fairly easy just wish for it to not rain; throw a garden party  or some outdoors event, or wash all your clothes and hany them out to dry …. Chances are it will rain depending on your luck

The Rain God

 

I spent a tiny town in the Lowveld part of Zimbabwe, it’s a hot arid region with low precipitation. Whenever it rained I got a nose bleed, or rather now that I think about it, when it; When I got a nose bleed It Rained. Maybe it was the heat maybe it was the altitude and atmospheric pressure (ok I did pay attention during geography class) The nose bleeds were rather severe and distressing not only to me but to the witnesses. Eventually my grandma came up with a solution, smoke some Elephant dung. Yes it worked, I stopped getting nose bleed, it still rained though, so that’s a remedy for those who know anyone who suffers from frequent nose bleeds.

I grew up and grew my hair too.

Beaton

Now here is the thing, every single time I get my hair touched up usually after a washday routine(read it here):   IT RAINS.

washday

And after all the effort putting into fixing up my hair imagine getting rained on your parade. At first I used to brush it off as just a weird coincidence but now, not so much.

Washday

 

I had my washday the day before yesterday; it rained all of yesterday I tried fixing up the rain damage last night, and today:

Even FaceBook warned me to stay dry

Facebook

Its not just that it rains, it tries to rain on me, I like dancing in the rain but not when I have just got my hair done, the two strand twists start unravelling.

WhatsApp Image 2018-02-03 at 12.14.53

Maybe I should visit Cape Town I hear they could really do with some rain

 

I am a Rain God

#MyAfricaMyWords

~B

 

Advertisements

Of Coffee On WashDay

If you were having coffee with me…… you would be in time to join me on my washday ritual. Washday for me comes every once in an assymetrical number of days, possibly weeks sometimes monthly there is no definite system, but usually the weekend before a week with events I want to look my best…… Happy Valentine’s day  ♥♥♥♥

Screenshot (40).jpg

 

WashDay I circle it on my calendar in red over and over again and in case you are wondering, washday is not about laundry, it is a whole day dedicated to all things hair. I have twisted locks and you can tell by the length of my locks I am fanatic about it, you can call me Rasta B  

b.jpg

First step is oil treatment or a conditioning mask, shampooing the hair makes it dry and brittle so first I pre-oil.

IMG_20170211_165503.jpg

After that the soap opera begins, detangling, anti-dandruff shampoo…. Lather, rinse and repeat until the hair foams freely and the rinse water runs clear. My eyes always wind up blood-red like I have been huffing paint; I have tried No More Tears Shampoo, but am not sure how much of it one must drink to stop the tears, though you start burping really cool bubbles. Sometimes when I run out of shampoo I use dish-washing liquid, and fabric softener as a conditioner. Some say it’s a terrible idea, some say its ok, all I know is it works except for an urge to want to wipe down dishes in the kitchen sink with my hair.

I am currently raving about a shampoo I bought from a street salesman. H e approached me while I was walking in town and said “Rasta Big Up, I promise if you buy this stuff you wont regret it” and since it cost only $1 I decided why not. He even gave me his number assuring me I would be placing a future order.

Untitled-1.jpg

I was a bit skeptical the bottle and label is unremarkable and the unscented gel shampoo smells is like detergent but I have to give it  a thumbs up a single palmful lathers up my entire hair and it doesnt dry it out. I think it has traces of conditioner and moisturiser in it. I’ll definitely be calling him up for my next fix.

If you were having coffee with me we would sit in the sun, and warm up after that soap opera affair as we wait for my hair to drip dry. One always hopes washday falls on a nice warm and sunny day.

sun.jpg

Next I section my hair into some sort of buns or is it bangs? I am not quite sure. Followed finally by retwisting all the new hair growth with beeswax; some oil and moisturiser.

burn.jpg

My hairdresser introduced me to this hair Ganjalizer Super Natural Herbal Hair Food. I suspect it has questionable legality issues seeing as the label claims it contains 100% Ganja also known as marijuana, cannabis, weed, herb, hemp…. People who sell it don’t display it and if you look like a plain clothed policeman undercover (i.e clean shaven; plain bald head) and ask for it they will tell you it’s out of stock.

ganja.jpg

Ganjalizer

It does have the scent of marijuana and I think when you use it you might want to stay away from police sniffer dogs or areas where drug searches are conducted…. just to be safe. Common street myth is if you want your hair to grow luxuriously infusing marijuana seeds into your petroleum jelly and using that as hair food is the holy grail.

20161224_084642.jpg

If you were having coffee with me I would tell you about the acid test of successfully completed washday.

The Acid Test …. Walking downtown in an area where hairdressers and barbers are lined up on the pavement seeking out clients… If not a single one of them calls you and says “lets style or cut” or offer any service done on your hair then you know your hair is on point. Though sometimes just to fool you they might just call you…….

If you were having coffee with me I would ask you if a random hot person compliments you on your hair and then when you smiling and feeling yourself graciously trying to accept the compliment and then they suddenly say “By the way I am a hairdresser, here is my card call me sometime……” how genuine was the compliment they paid you or did they speak to you just to solicit for a potential client and would you call them?

Thanks for the visit do you have any hair routines and tips you might want to share? Have a happy heart day.

~B

Ps Some guys have washday too ☻☺☻